Lewes Forum thread

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cyber bullying

On 11 Oct 2009 at 10:30pm observer wrote:
Having read some of the recent threads seems to me there's a fair amount of what could be construed as cyber-bullying on the Lewes forum. Apart from ruining a good debating and information site, some of the contributions have been abusive, plain rude, possibly hurtful and usually unnecsessary and could be opening their anonymous poster's up to litigation - even if they are posted in 'jest'.
A recent case in the U.S. was reported last week - independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/features/i-was-cyberbullied-a-virtual-victim-fights-back-1798539.html. It can't be long before there is a similar case in the UK.
Personally I think it's really sad that there's such a prevalent anti-'DFL' sentiment and leaves a sour taste. What's happened to welcoming strangers to our town, tolerance and a love of freedom and freedom of speech - without fear of abuse ?

On 11 Oct 2009 at 11:56pm Rolling Eye wrote:
You clearly have too much time on your hands.
(Rephrased about a 100 times and wrapped in cotton wool before posting)
On 12 Oct 2009 at 9:06am I dont live in lewes... wrote:
While in part agreeing with Observers idealistic viewpoint it's possible that the local yokels are heartily fed up with DFL's. That being the case they have the right to express those feelings, indeed, it would be a fraudlent representation of Lewes if that failed to happen.
Likewise with the much debated thorny subjects of parking and planning.
Though it would be nice to think that the world's composed of sugar and spice the truth is that it isn't.
I haven't seen any noteworthy cyber bullying on this forum. Yes people put their views strongy, especially if they are passionate about a subject.
The "litigation" word is often bandied about in an attempt to stifle free speach.
Why be afraid of free speach? We pride ourselves on being democratic (albeit representational).
Yes some members do appear to be rude to each other, but I know some meet face in the pub for a pint and a pie. May be don't take every thing you read so seriously?
That in my view is abhorent.
On 12 Oct 2009 at 9:44am Smiler wrote:
I couldn't agree more.
On 12 Oct 2009 at 10:44am Down and Out wrote:
I've been on forums (fora?) which are far more personally abusive than this one. Much better just not to get involved than to consider curtailing free speech. I'm happily DFL and don't hide it from anyone and, when I talk to 'proper' Lewesians face to face, they couldn't care less. There's undoubtedly something tawdry about the internet which provokes a kind of whiney keyboard bashing that just ain't there in real life. Whatever. Just ignore it / give as good as you get. If someone walks up to you in the street and tells you to 'eff off' that's unacceptable, but if one anonymous internet gob says it to another, it's pathetic but it just doesn't matter.
On 12 Oct 2009 at 11:04am sashimi wrote:
Observer, I am basically on the same side as you. It bothers me when insiders gang up on outsiders of any kind. But is it really bullying? The unease about DFLs is the same as the unease residents have about immigrants. They are interesting and colourful additions to society until their numbers reach a tipping point and they become a perceived threat to things (jobs, houses, culture, etc). I think incomers (and immigrants) are largely beneficial: they contribute positively to the economy and society. Without them, Lewes would still be a rundown, smokey railway town - and who would want to go back the Britain of the 1950s? But the 'native population' have the right to set some of the rules and traditions and those of us who have chosen to come here have to accept them. I'm pretty neutral about Bonfire but I accept and respect the tradition of the Town much as refugees from Iraq, Afghanistan and anywhere else we may have bombed lately have to take on board the Queen and Black Rod etc in coming here. Is it bullying to make us conform a little? Not, I think, if it is done, as it usually is, with a little kindness and humour. Being called a DFL doesn't yet have the heavy overtones of 'wop' or 'nigger'. It's more like being called a 'limey'. So why not print up a few buttons with 'DFL and proud of it' that we can all wear?
On 12 Oct 2009 at 11:54am Down and Out wrote:
Good post Sashimi. I'm not sure what DFLs do wrong really. Are the 'antis' suggesting that if a wall had been built around Lewes in the 50s, houses on The Avenue would still cost £49,000? Can't see it working myself. Then when you look at 'traditional' shops like, say, Richards, I'm sure it's DFLs keeping them going as much as true Lewesians. Maybe we need to go back further and say Tom Paine should never have been allowed to move here. Many years ago I used to live (as a Southerner) in a Yorkshire pit village. The saying there was that you're not Yorkshire until you've three generations in a Yorkshire graveyard, but they were never less than welcoming to an outsider like me.
On 12 Oct 2009 at 12:54pm Magic Bob wrote:
Tom Paine, don't get me started on that Traitor...............
On 12 Oct 2009 at 1:13pm Kevsy wrote:
From my perspective, I do find the small minded attitudes on here pretty off-putting. Having moved down from London a month ago with my partner and little boy (my partner was born in East Sussex and has two elderly relatives living on Sun Street).
Fortunately in my experience the views of the minority do not represent the general feel of the town - which I find incredibly welcolming and broad minded.
Frankly, my view is just to ignore it and read the threads posted by people you would choose to drink in a pub with and steer clear of those who are best left in the previous century.
One question, the fact that my partner is from Lewes, but was then eductated outside, is living with someone who is down from London and had the misfortune to have our baby in London. Does that mean she is a bad person?
On 12 Oct 2009 at 2:21pm Sherlock wrote:
I come here precisely to see the 'small minded attitudes'. Life without Spongebob would be a lot less predictable - where are you Spongey?
On 12 Oct 2009 at 4:18pm observer wrote:
Funnily enough spongbob was one of the people I thought was being bullied by others - he may often be rude but it's clear it's lighthearted whereas some people seem to really take his comments to heart and are absolutely vile to him in response. Anette Curtain Twitcher and Brixtonbelle have also come in for some rather nasty (and unwarranted) comments recently.
My plea is really for a little more human decency and decorum - not intended to take away from the fun of contributing to the forum.
On 12 Oct 2009 at 4:38pm Spongebob wrote:
I'm here 'no sh1t sherlock' Everyone has a small minded attitude except you eh

Thank you observer but i can assure you it's water off a ducks back to me. People can call me what they want as long as they don't call me late for dinner.
On 12 Oct 2009 at 4:41pm Penguin wrote:
Ah...school must have finished
On 12 Oct 2009 at 4:50pm Sherlock wrote:
Dear old Spongebob - it was my feeble attempt at a joke.
On 12 Oct 2009 at 6:29pm Brixtonbelle wrote:
The Urban 75 chat forum that I used to peruse in Brixton was very polite - but then I think they had a webmaster who deleted any offensive or potentially offensive posts. To be honest there's so many diverse groups and peoples you could offend there that it was probably a sensible move. Whereas of course in Lewes it's just the locals or the DFL's who are liable to get upset!
Oh and thanks Observer for your concern. As a recent DFL abnd proud Londoner I can honestly say I haven't met any nasty locals (or DFL's) in the flesh, I guess they just get their angst out on this forum !
On 12 Oct 2009 at 7:21pm Annette Curtin-Twitcher wrote:
I thnk this is mild compared to some forums I've been on. Try going on Champdogs and tell them you're thinking of mating your nice labrador bitch with your mate's poodle to breed some labradoodles and seeing what sort of flack you get!
I also think that when most of us refer to DFLs, we don't literally mean anyone from London but a certain type - you know, kids called Tarquin and Daffodil, soya latte in Bill's after dropping them off at Lewes New School in the 4x4 or Toyota Pious, scented candles at £15 a throw and opening an organic string shop to give the missus something to do after pilates, yoga and t'ai chi.
I'm actually a DFL (or possibly down from Surrey, depending on whether you go by postal addresses or council areas) and when I moved down in 1991 there was no issue re incomers. TYhat was possibly because the gap between house prices was much narrower (outer London prices were on a par with Lewes) so there wasn't the feeling that London money was pricing local people out of buying homes here.
A true Lewesian of many generations once said to me that no-one minded who moved to Lewes as long as they moved here because they love it how it is and didn't try and change it. That's really how I feel. I think there's a real feeling now that the demographic has changed so much that the nature of the town is changing, and that's what people mind.
Imo, Lewes hasn't been the same since it lost its cattle market.
On 12 Oct 2009 at 8:48pm Spinster Of This Parish wrote:
Well said ACT.
I'm not a Lewesian but I've always thought that if you embrace this town, it will embrace you in return.
On 12 Oct 2009 at 8:56pm I dont live in lewes... wrote:
A lot of bad things has been said about Bills on this forum but his emporium went up in my ratings after I visited Lewes on Saturday.
A sweet young wanabee waitress flounced out of the door carrying a plate with what looked like 2 croissants type thingies on, but didn't quite make it and the croissant thingies bounced uncermonously across the pavement.
Unperturbed she put 90 percent of them back on the plate. To me anyone who sits and poses in the middle of the road with a cup of coffee can't be entirely right, and she did give him a sweet smile. Result! I watched him eat it. Hopefully it was organic and good for him.
On 12 Oct 2009 at 9:21pm Lopster wrote:
not posted for a while, felt this warranted comment but not sure what to say, my perspective - and in sort of summary...
interesting post Observer, not surprised at reactions though
- great town- some small-minded residents though(both third generation Lewes and DF"elsewhere") but have seen far worse in other places I've lived
- DFL and proud myself, but do TRY to get involved in the life of the town (which is the secret inmy opinion) not just use it a a commuter's dormitory
- I chose to live here, didn't just have it thrust upon me; overall yet to regret it (after 18 years residency and first "discovery" 31 years ago) - parking notwithstanding
- PROS brewery, castle, priory, Railway station, "cottage" hospital, lively "Amateur" Arts activities, live music, fair spread of pubs/brews avaialble, excellent local schools, concerned and vocal MP, Bonfire
- CONS town planning, Parking control, choice for shopping, local Bus service
sure there's loads more to say...
PhilX, ACT, Spinster, Sashimi - nice posts
Kevsey - stick with it, use the Chatrom (attached) mee some folks
Spongebob - keep taking the tablets
On 12 Oct 2009 at 9:25pm Annette Curtin-Twitcher wrote:
That's weird Lopster, not only have we both been here 18 years, but I first "discovered" Lewes in 1978 too.
On 12 Oct 2009 at 9:42pm Lopser wrote:
oooh scary - I Visited the White Hart for a Christmas meal in December 78 so you might well pre-date me (but only just)
Although DFL I had livd in Hove for a few yeas before hand so technically AFB(HA) really!!
On 12 Oct 2009 at 9:43pm Lopster wrote:
that was me but in my exitement I spelt my name wrong
On 12 Oct 2009 at 9:43pm Lopster wrote:
errh "wrongly"?
On 12 Oct 2009 at 9:52pm Spinster Of This Parish wrote:
On 12 Oct 2009 at 10:10pm Annette Curtin-Twitcher wrote:
My first visit to Lewes was about October '78 when I was a rep. I had to cover for the Sussex rep and had a few calls in Lewes. The first one was at the co-op in West Street. I fell in love with the town that day.
On 12 Oct 2009 at 10:17pm Brixtonbelle wrote:
Cripes I almost predate you - I first visited the town in 1979 and have continued to visit it and the south coast ever since. I thought it was posh and twee then and to some extent it still is for the reasons ACT spells out. Price wise Lewes is now comparable to parts of south London - in fact probably more expensive. The whole house price issue is very skewed anyway - most ordinary people on average salaries - including Londoners - can't afford to buy in their local areas. Same goes for other cities and property hotspots around the country - Devon, Cornwall, Edinburgh etc, so it's not just Lewesians who are affected by high house prices.
I always think of those types of DLF's you refer to ACT as rich hippies. Sadly they are breeding and are all over the shop.
On 12 Oct 2009 at 10:40pm Annette Curtin-Twitcher wrote:
That's true, BB. You see them everywhere - Bath, Totnes, Chester, all sorts of towns have that element.
Mind you, I think "rich hippy" is a contradiction in terms. They're just breadheads with Bohemian pretensions!
On 13 Oct 2009 at 9:18am sashimi wrote:
Why does Glastonbury always get left out of that list?
On 13 Oct 2009 at 10:34pm Brixtonbelle wrote:
Glastonbury has its own breed of rich hippies that has spawned numerous sub sects including amongst others, trustafarian crusties, pagan twits, and arty-eco candlemakers, or any variation therof. Sometimes they have exchange trips with their Lewes counterparts whereupon they get slapped about a bit by the locals and decide to retreat back to their west country camper vans sited in a field on mummy and daddy's estate....
On 14 Oct 2009 at 9:33am sashimi wrote:
Thanks, Brixtonbelle, I'll get back to you when I've managed to decode your contribution.
On 14 Oct 2009 at 11:16am Brixtionbelle wrote:
Just a riff on a theme after one too many cyders...

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