On 22 Feb 2013 at 7:10pm Mrs Twine wrote:
Apologies to those (many) people who are not remotely interested. I had to open this thread to reply to BB's kind enquiries about my craft activities, now discontinued. So sorry, BB. The market has been very slow. Clifford sent back his lentil truss as being uncomfortable and unflattering, and JRSussex objected to the Actomil negligee I painstakingly crocheted for his wife's Christmas present. Therefore I let all the yogurt go "off", and then sent it out worldwide as a gift to certain notable people of whom I disapprove.
My life is now devoted to training for my trip up the Amazon with Ben Fogle. You can find me on the treadmill down at the leisure centre most mornings. At 94 the whole enterprise is a bit of a challenge, but I am determined to succeed.
All good wishes.
On 22 Feb 2013 at 7:54pm frak wrote:
Yawn.......................... I could go on. Back under the bridge with you.
On 22 Feb 2013 at 8:12pm Toast wrote:
I thought you'd know how to spell yoghurt by now.
On 22 Feb 2013 at 8:43pm Spellchecker wrote:
Tut tut Toast. Both forms of yogurt/yoghurt are quite acceptable. Reach for the dictionary first next time.
On 22 Feb 2013 at 10:42pm Mrs Twine wrote:
Frak, dear, I made it quite clear in my post that it was not intended for you, but for BB. If, therefore, you were silly enough to read it, you have only yourself to blame if you were bored. Good Night!
On 22 Feb 2013 at 10:42pm Anon wrote:
Thank you, Twine! Unlike the humour-hostile frak, I found your post hilarious. And Spellchecker is completely correct. Both are acceptable, your usage being more familiar in North America.
On 22 Feb 2013 at 10:59pm Southover Queen wrote:
Dear Mrs Twine
I wonder, have you tried halloumi? I would quite like a lightweight summer dressing gown and have been searching high and low.
On 23 Feb 2013 at 8:47am Mrs Twine wrote:
Thank you, SQ, but my mind is now set on training for the rigours of the Amazon. Ben has kindly arranged for my zimmer to follow us in a second canoe. But halloumi is a good choice; plenty of garlic and lemon should make it a winner. Why not try Ray Mears? He is very good at handicrafts and, I believe, lives in Sussex, which be handy for a fitting. Now, should I be learning Spanish or Portuguese for the trip? Or perhaps Guarani? Ben isn't sure.
On 23 Feb 2013 at 12:08pm brixtonbelle wrote:
Mrs Twine, I wish you well with Ben up the Amazon. Maybe you could research new methods of twining and yogurt substitutes whilst there. If you see Sting, send him my regards.
PS How's Mr Twine ?
On 23 Feb 2013 at 12:32pm Mrs Twine wrote:
Oh dear, BB, I thought you knew he was in Parkhurst. Do you remember the large shed he built in the back garden, which I was forbidden to enter? I just thought it was a Man Shed, but did think there was a funny smell coming from it. It turned out to be full of what he called Hemp, which I thought he was kindly growing for my craft activities, but the police arrived and confiscated it all, and now hubby is far away, and not enjoying himself at all. I know it's a harsh thing to say, but frankly I'm past caring, and stopped taking the ferry to the IoW some time ago. Hope you and yours are well.
On 23 Feb 2013 at 3:37pm bastian wrote:
dear mrs twine, there are lots of vines in the jungle that you can collect for your crafts, it may be a whole new avenue for you.
such a fun thread after so many nasties.
On 23 Feb 2013 at 8:07pm Mrs Twine wrote:
What a kind boy you are, Bastian. Your advice is greatly appreciated; I have been thinking in terms of woven baskets - but it will be a great temptation to try swinging on the lianas, just like dear Tarzan, whom I had the good fortune to meet in the fur department at Harrods in the 1950s. Alas, he was past swinging by then, but a swinger in a different way, no doubt. Should any of the posters who were hubby's drinking companions at the Lewes Arms, (you know who you are), should feel inclined to visit him at Parkhurst, don't take him cigarettes, he doesn't deserve them. If he should ask after me, you can say I am doing very nicely thank you. I think it's all my fault for marrying a toy boy of 77. I should have known better. But hey ho! a short life and a merry one. Good night all!
On 24 Feb 2013 at 6:58am Mrs Twine wrote:
Dears, I was less than kind in my last post, and have made a solemn vow not to partake of the dandelion wine again under any circumstances.
A new day dawns, a new beginning. I have finished packing, and any minute Ben F will arrive to pick me up in his trusty Reliant Robin. Off to Gatwick and new adventures.
I may be some time.
On 24 Feb 2013 at 11:03am Southover Queen wrote:
Dear Mrs Twine
I hope Ben is fully recovered after suffering a spiked drink recently. You will need to keep a close eye on him as he has clearly been badly traumatised. Perhaps a nice feta scarf?
As for the language issue, I wouldn't worry too much. Everyone knows that if you repeat yourself slowly while shouting in English accompanied by a lot of gesturing you will be understood everywhere. I expect this will be particularly effective with first-contact tribes in the Amazon.
Southover Queen (ms)
On 24 Feb 2013 at 1:22pm Bystander wrote:
I don't know if it's relevant, but half an hour ago an ambulance pulled up outside and two men in white coats took away the very confused old lady who lives next door. All this is not helping me to sell my house.
On 24 Feb 2013 at 1:40pm Blah Blah Blah wrote:
Bystander , don't worry the Women taken away was Mrs Twines spinster sister Miss Fromage. I have it on good authority that Mrs Twine left for Manaus an hour ago.