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Xmas Fun

On 18 Dec 2020 at 11:44pm IDM wrote:
Yet another test. Thread creation failed.
On 18 Dec 2020 at 11:51pm IDM wrote:
I wonder if I am asking for the impossible by suggesting an activity which might bring us all together at a not so festive time. We each contribute a joke (preferably original). No slagging off of others' contributions though.
Christmas relaxations will now allow sea-bathing from beaches in Tier Two. However, Government guidance should still be followed in staying 2m away from sharks.
On 19 Dec 2020 at 11:26pm IDM wrote:
If anyone joins me - please use the other thread of the same name.
On 20 Dec 2020 at 1:20pm Mark wrote:
Here is a joke that I frequently tell but that I've found that not very many people get....
On 20 Dec 2020 at 1:21pm Mark wrote:
How would you titilate an oscellot?
On 20 Dec 2020 at 1:22pm Mark wrote:
Answer: By oscillating its tits a lot.
On 22 Dec 2020 at 4:53pm IDM wrote:
Thanks Mark for making the effort. As my second attempt at gathering us all together for a common civilised purpose has failed. I am giving up. Shame though.
On 23 Dec 2020 at 6:09pm Mark wrote:
Pat was waitin at da bus stop in da poorin rain. Mick came along in his car. Mick said Faith n begorah Pat! Where would you be goin in dis weather??? Why Mick said Pat, I'm after to be goin inta Dublin. Faith and begob said Mick, hop in da car pat. I'll spin you inta Dublin. Pat said, it's a kind thot Mick n I'd like that. I can't do it though. If I did I would sure as pigs is pigs be missin my bus!
On 24 Dec 2020 at 7:06am Hyena wrote:
Out of order Mark , lazy stereotyping .
On 24 Dec 2020 at 3:19pm IDM wrote:
As you've looked at the thread Hyena, can we have a joke please?
I'm afraid that I have bad news Mr Jones.
What is it Doctor?
Well,after 13 tests in two days ... I'm afraid you have hypochondria.
On 24 Dec 2020 at 6:06pm Hyena wrote:
I’ll make a black joke and chuck in a bit of patois ? Would that amuse you? I think not.
‘ No pets , No Blacks, No Irish’ It wasn’t so long ago.
On 25 Dec 2020 at 8:38am Mark wrote:
Hyena is just being a bit petulant because he/she(?) doesn't know any jokes, I think.
On 26 Dec 2020 at 10:34am Tom Pain wrote:
Just returned from Durham, where I've been roistering with Dom and a few other chums. The big joke that had us in fits was the vid. of old foxy Fauchi having his "jab". In the first place the doctor's arm obscured the view of Fauchi's LEFT arm that was supposedly being injected. The real punch line came the next day when the old fox described his mild symptoms and patted his RIGHT arm which was "a bit sore". Neil Ferguson was there too with his totty, a real Christmas Cracker.
On 27 Dec 2020 at 11:55pm Tom Pain wrote:
How very odd that the regular anti Tom Paineacs are so silent. All Christmas long- not a peep, not a squawk from the parrots. And every weekend, no answer comes the stern reply. It makes me wonder so much I could even work up a conspiracy theory or two. I suppose they demand double time for holidays and I'm not worth it, how demeaning.
On 28 Dec 2020 at 9:12am Mark wrote:
I'm happy to explain to you that you're a lunatic Tom but I'm afraid that this is the future of the forum. A lingering death for a once great, entirely local institution. The days when Paul Newman could get 38 thumbs down in an hour are behind us. Many thanks to Webbo for the fun.
On 28 Dec 2020 at 12:19pm Tom Pain wrote:
How kind of you mark, explain away.
On 28 Dec 2020 at 5:27pm I Say Ding Dong wrote:
I hear that a mummy has just been found in the Valley of the Kings, experts believe the crude chocolate coating and wafer biscuits point to it being the Pharaoh Rocher.
On 30 Dec 2020 at 8:05pm I Say Ding Dong wrote:
I've just watch a large flying thing land on the table in front of me. It stayed there for about 30 seconds then just exploded. Can anyone help, was this a Jihadi Longlegs?
On 30 Dec 2020 at 11:30pm IDM wrote:
A masked Anubis sits on a bus beside a mummy. "I think that you've overdone the face coverings, Rameses".
On 2 Jan 2021 at 6:27pm IDM wrote:
Now we know that "Trumpian" is a real word (GoodNews2 14-49 to 15-24)...
Trumphant: asserting victory when in defeat.
Trumped: believed successful 39 times.
Trumpette: small brass instrument dominating orchestra, but completely out of tune.
Trumprism: refractor showing red where it should be blue.
Trump l'oeil: confusion between perception and reality.
On 3 Jan 2021 at 5:12pm Tom Pain wrote:
Trumpton- home of idm
On 7 Jan 2021 at 8:33pm IDM wrote:
Thanks for the interest TP. However, the idea was to link each word to the characteristics of a well-known US resident.
Trumpton: Hometown of the State Governor, IDM, who forged 100,000 mail-in votes.
On 9 Jan 2021 at 11:08pm Tom Pain wrote:
He's got nothing on the man who forged a trillion dollar notes.
On 27 Jan 2021 at 11:07pm IDM wrote:
One more, then I'll leave you alone:
"We've got a special exemption to do some Verdi with a live audience."
"Great! What are you doing?"
"Un Ballo in Maschera."

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