Lewes Forum thread

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What is wrong with men?

On 6 Mar 2013 at 10:30am Kettle wrote:
I've just been hearing about a debate at Glasgow uni where the female contestants were repeatedly subject to vile sexist abuse and attempts to shut them up just because they are women.
Then I turn to this forum and see the usual misogyny.
I don't think that all men are vile. I'm married to a very nice one. I do wonder what the hell is wrong with so many of them. Men still earn the most for the same work, often leave women with all the child care responsibilities, and rape and murder us on a regular basis.
Come on chaps. What happened? What did we do to upset you?
On 6 Mar 2013 at 10:51am Nick wrote:
Sorry I don't rape and murder on a regular basis. Too busy finding the mortgage payments.
On 6 Mar 2013 at 10:57am grafter wrote:
One of the (somewhat) unexpected consequences of feminism is that some men no longer feel the need to be protective or deferential towards women. The "traditional "family structure of one man,one woman made sense when society supported it but this is no longer the case. Young women and men treat each other as commodities to be sampled and then discarded for a better model. If you google" manosphere" or "men going there own way" you will see the new mindset. I am just the messenger and do not support the views you will encounter here but this sort of thing is having an effect.
We live in a post- christian society. We shouldn't be suprised if people reject standards of behaviour that were particular to anglo-christendom.
On 6 Mar 2013 at 11:02am jocko wrote:
I am a man!
I grew up knowing how to respect, but not patronise females.
I am a single parent and bring up my two sons for 90% of the time as my ex finds it 'too difficult'. I also work and do three volunteer 'jobs'
Both lads are well mannered, intelligent and respectful of all sentient life.
I have never raped or murdered.
I think you are on shakey ground on this subject, verging on 'manogyny' by suggesting that it is the majority of men who perpetrate mysogyny.
A forum which is not monitored will attract haters of all types.
For example - are all cyclists crazed, invisible pavement riders? - no, but you wouldn't know it by reading many forums.
It is usually the minority who have the most press because the media can not make a living out of good, positive news!
There is good and bad in everything.
On 6 Mar 2013 at 11:08am Pete wrote:
I grew up in a maternal society - Wales. We men were used to being dominated by women long before the English learnt how to spell the word feminism !!
On 6 Mar 2013 at 2:59pm Blip wrote:
Nick, does your comment count as "passive aggressive"?
On 6 Mar 2013 at 3:21pm State the Obvious wrote:
No sensible person would really post on here. So therefore, most posts are either by 1) racist and sexist nutters, OR 2) political wind bags
I am neither, by the way, I'm just VERY VERY VERY VERY BORED...and was just passing
On 6 Mar 2013 at 4:40pm landporter wrote:
Get on with the ironing, Kettle
On 6 Mar 2013 at 4:43pm bastian wrote:
if any of you ever listen to or read the news you will see a world that is full of violence against women, including the belittleing and verbal abuse many women seem to have to put up with on a daily basis. It isn't OK, and though many are not the perpetrators of such stuff it is hard to ignore that the world is overwhelmingly tipped in favour of chaps..it is.
If we can just get over the injury of having it poointed out to us that there are nasty men around then we can all move on towards liberation of another kind. The freedom to be ourselves, which is, on the whole nice and caring, fullfilling and good dads.
And can we stop bringing our daughters up to be princesses, it just shatters a dream when they realise they are not going to be wearing pink fairy wings forever.
On 6 Mar 2013 at 7:19pm Stan the Man wrote:
Kettle, you've said your bit now get the diner on love
On 6 Mar 2013 at 8:27pm No Pot Pourri wrote:
I heard the piece on Woman's Hour this morning. I am a fairly traditional man but was shocked by the attitudes, comments and behaviour of supposedly intelligent men at Glasgow Uni towards women who are among the top debaters in the world. Really shameful.
I didn't really get the "rape and murder us on a regular basis" in the OP. Is this an issue in Lewes that I was not aware of?
On 6 Mar 2013 at 9:52pm teaboy wrote:
I'm somewhat amused by the irony of a thread complaining about sexism has been called "what is wrong with men?"
On 7 Mar 2013 at 7:48am Kettle wrote:
Well, that was fun! Would have been even better if webbo had not cracked down in his spring clean, I am sure.
To summarise:
Some men do not behave like this (so there is no problem)
Women aren't respected any more because they have demanded equal rights (the troublesome wenches). So misogyny is all their fault. Religion will sort it all out (by putting women back in their boxes).
There is no problem.
There is no problem.
There is no problem.
Let's not talk about it. That would be sexist. So there isn't a problem
You were absolutely right Clifford
On 7 Mar 2013 at 10:11am teaboy wrote:
Some people are idiots. Some just aren't very nice and attack others without justifiable reason. This occurs across society between groups that see others as different. It's the same with racism and homophbia.

I haven't heard the Glasgow incident, but tarring a large group with the same brush and claim "Men still earn the most for the same work, often leave women with all the child care responsibilities, and rape and murder us on a regular basis" you do the cause of equality no favours. Many (probably most) men are feminists in the traditional sense, so don't attack those who also support your wider views.
On 7 Mar 2013 at 11:05am Kettle wrote:
Saying you can't discuss misogyny because some people are not guilty of it and because to do so would be sexist is like saying you can't discuss racism because some people are not guilty of it an to do so would be racist.
The figures for salaries and gender violence speak for themselves.
On 7 Mar 2013 at 4:47pm bastian wrote:
kettle there is a problem but most blokes don't want to know because their ego either gets in the way or they can't take in the idea that most men are still very much better off than women in the first place. I have watched my two children grow into adults, one girl, one boy, and believe me, until a woman can walk into a room with the same confidence and natural power that men do then nothing has changed; and this is despite our bringing our kids up the same way and with no gender roll stuff. Any man who uses stupid, childish words of abuse (all to commonly thrown at women in jokey ways) to belitlle a womans confidence in private or public is a mysogonist. is that clear enough.
On 7 Mar 2013 at 8:15pm Kettle wrote:
Hey bastian- yup. and I do know that there are some good men out there. It just gets a bit wearing.
On 7 Mar 2013 at 10:42pm misogynyst wrote:
What the hell! who hates who Iwonder? what a bitter, twisted and thouroughly discusting person to accuse "many" men of such vile acts, you utter bitch.
On 8 Mar 2013 at 9:12am Southover Queen wrote:
Well named then, aren't you, "misogynyst" (except you can't spell the word, unsurprisingly).

The facts speak for themselves. I don't think Kettle was blaming you specifically, but the evidence is that violence against women is common, particularly in the home, and rates of pay 10% lower on average. Every woman knows about casual sexism - "what's the matter love, can't you take a joke?". So Kettle wasn't accusing anyone really; just listing the facts. Calling Kettle an "utter bitch" would suggest that you and the facts are really not well acquainted.

(Oh, and the word is "disgusting", with a "g". If you're going to hide under multiple online identities, do try to fix this one or stop using the word in the first place if you can't manage that.)
On 8 Mar 2013 at 10:28am teaboy wrote:
I have nevr said that misogyny shouldn't be discussed. I don't think anyone has said that it can't be, or shouldn't be discussed. It should be, as should racism - but you need to be careful about the language used. Personally I feel you directed the inital point in the wrong direction. 'Men get paid more for the same work' - not where I work. If it is the case elsewhere this is the fault of the employers not employees, and probably illegal. 'Often leave women with all the childcare responsibilities' - this is, or can be a problem. How can it be tackled/rectified? What needs to be changed to allow it to be fairer, and how do we do that? I certainly don't think that rape and murder of women is particularly widespread in this country (not that it should EVER happen!), and I certainly don't think that many men will go on to rape or murder someone. Domestic violence is definitely an issue though, but I genuinely have no idea as to why anyone might think it is acceptable.

Happy International Women's Day.

On 8 Mar 2013 at 11:25am Kettle wrote:
Oh 'mysogynyst'! How wrong I've been. You have persuaded me of the error of my ways!

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