On 9 Dec 2011 at 5:11pm Mrs Twine wrote:
Having completed the assembly of my new router (old socks, tahini and maple syrup - I recommend liquorice bootlaces for the various cables), I returned home to find hubby halfway up a ladder into the loft, very red faced. He was brandishing a frying pan and claimed he was coming DOWN the ladder in order to give the implement to a charity shop. But I know differently, because the sink is blocked with enough saturated fat to sink a battleship and the whole house smells strongly of sausages and bacon.
I am very disappointed in you, dears. Why didn't you stop him? Think of his poor arteries.
Hubby is very busy, as he must finish all the little jobs around the house that he started and didn't finish over the past year. Otherwise, no turkey, and a double portion of sprouts.
BB and Southover Queen, I blame you for this. And Clifford.
On 9 Dec 2011 at 5:44pm brixtonbelle wrote:
Mrs T - my huge apologies I have been away from the forum, but I have tried to point Herbert in the right direction ...(see other thread). He sounds very wayward, have you tried macrame handcuffs ?
On 9 Dec 2011 at 7:04pm Mrs Twine wrote:
Many thanks, BB. At the moment he seems to be a lost cause. I caught him looking wistfully at a pork pie in Tesco's today, and he often murmurs "black pudding" in his sleep.
Also, do you think I could get the Lewes Arms to bar him?
On 9 Dec 2011 at 8:16pm bastian wrote:
oh now that's just cruel
On 9 Dec 2011 at 9:27pm Southover Queen wrote:
Dear Mrs Twine, I'm very sorry to hear your sad tale and not a little worried that I am somehow responsible. Unless you're my next door neighbour in which case he's not supposed to be eating the breakfasts. (there's gnomic for you)
On 10 Dec 2011 at 11:19am Mrs Twine wrote:
Thank you, BB and SQ; I can see you understand my problems. The words "childhood" and "second" spring to mind. Anyway, SQ, Herbert is not your neighbour, who I assume mistakes your wild bird seed for muesli. "He who eats a neighbour's garden muesli gets up with fleas." Is that gnomic or an aphorism?
I see Clifford is still hiding from me. At least, Clifford, don't teach him any more rugby songs. The Church Women's Guild did not appreciate them yesterday.
I have found a treasure of rather furry Quark in the fridge, and am busy crocheting some individual toe comforters. BB and SQ will receive theirs very soon, but Clifford has been a Very Naughty Boy and will receive his usual bundle of birch twigs, as in the Dutch tradition. But Peter Byron will be able to tell you all about that.
A very Happy Christmas to you all.
On 10 Dec 2011 at 1:19pm Clifford wrote:
Mrs Twine - Your wish is my command.
On 10 Dec 2011 at 7:28pm David wrote:
It's so refreshing to see a thread without the right-wing dick Paul Newman intervening (maybe it's something's that Cameron has done recently?).
On 10 Dec 2011 at 9:28pm Deelite wrote:
Yes. Maybe the twerp is away.He's not even jumped into the Cameron/Europe thread below.
On 11 Dec 2011 at 4:12pm Brixtonbelle wrote:
Mrs Twine I shall look forward to the toe comforter - how did you know about my cold feet ? My knitting isn't up to much, but I will stand you and Herbert a glass of mulled wine in the Lewes Arms next time I'm in.
I'd like to wish all my Lewes pals on the forum a very Merry Old Yule. Let's face it, we will need some lovely warm memories to hold onto if we get the financial spanking we don't deserve in the New Year.
On 11 Dec 2011 at 4:13pm twerp alert wrote:
Funnily enough,nor has the other twerp,Peter Byron been on!Or HAS he? Ho! HUM!
On 11 Dec 2011 at 6:07pm oops wrote:
On 12 Dec 2011 at 10:04am Cliffite wrote:
Yes because this thread makes perfect sense in every other aspect /confuzzled
On 12 Dec 2011 at 11:37am Mrs Twine wrote:
I can assure you, young men, that Peter Byron is emphatically NOT my alter ego. I am as interested as you are to see when he next emerges, as I have a bone to pick with him because he has been a Very Bad Influence on Hubby. I am beginning to wish I had never taught him my kipper recipe, and he still owes me a bottle of gin promised on his return from Holland.
Anyone who spots him, please inform the appropriate authorities.
But he certainly isn't me.