On 15 Oct 2017 at 8:25am Anonymous wrote:
Is it too late to change your life in your 40s?
Far from being happy and content with the life I've made for myself, I think I've made a lot of choices that have put me in a different position now I'm in my 40s to where I would actually like to be.
When I was young, I thought my life would be all sorted by my 40s, that everything would be as I hoped it would be and I'd be settled and enjoying life.
Instead I am full of regrets about how I should have done so many things differently.
But can I put changes in to place in my late 40s? Or just put up with an unsatisfied life based on my earlier decisions?
On 15 Oct 2017 at 8:42am Lewes born and bread wrote:
Never ever too late. Never regret anything but use them as experiences to learn from. You'll probably surprise yourself if you just grabbed life by the horns and go for it. Good luck.
On 15 Oct 2017 at 8:54am Me too wrote:
I feel the same. I think "is this it?"
On 15 Oct 2017 at 9:55am 40s fella wrote:
Mid 40s is the perfect time to change. I know people who’ve made huge life changes in their 70s so it’s never too late.
On 15 Oct 2017 at 10:08am Billy wrote:
Circumstances change, priorities change. You only get one chance, you will make mistakes but learn from them. Make sure you end each day with the feeling that you have done your best. Don't waste a second.
On 15 Oct 2017 at 6:57pm Livingman wrote:
You almost always regret what you didn't do rather than what you did do.
On 15 Oct 2017 at 9:21pm Sold wrote:
Know what you mean. I bought a flat in central Brighton for £25k in 1994 when I was 24. I sold it in 2001 because a girl I knew in another flat upstairs was found dead, plus I wanted to go travelling, was fed up with the bills from the freeholder and just needed a fresh start. Made some money but anyway, thought I'd just buy back in as I had s large deposit. Anyway, I never did, never have been able to. I'm still renting at 47 but do you know what, I'm happier than I ever was, despite kicking myself black and blue with regret. Time heals, life is short. Though that saying about regretting things you didn't do, rather than did do, isn't quite true in my case!
On 16 Oct 2017 at 10:41am Lewes Man wrote:
Life is about happiness. Make a change in your life to bring about happiness. Good luck
On 16 Oct 2017 at 5:23pm Renting wrote:
@Sold I read your story with interest.
In the late 90's I was young and was on the brink of buying a flat for £60,000. It was a really nice 2 bed flat in a listed building. But the sale fell through, and then I had a change of heart and decided to go traveling round the world instead of looking for another flat to buy (I was young and thought I had the rest of my life ahead of me to buy somewhere). I funded my trip with the money I'd saved for the deposit on the flat, thinking I'd be able to save up again (in those days you didnt need the type of deposit you need these days!) I stayed overseas for 3 years having the time of my life. My plan was to simply delay buying somewhere until I returned home again. Oh how confident I was then.
Whilst away, the housing market here went stratospheric. When I returned home, I could not believe my eyes at the property prices. The type of flat I'd been on the verge of buying had increased in price threefold but the wage I returned to was the same as the wage I'd been earning when I'd left the UK. The maths was simple: I'd been phenomenally priced out of the market. No way could I now afford to buy somewhere to live upon my return. My salary couldn't begin to cover the mortgage.
So I entered the world of renting, where I worked really hard every month to pay off someone else's mortgage for them. And I did that for years and years and years, unable to save for another deposit because rental prices had also soared. Meanwhile property values just went up and up and up.
Fast forward to middle age, with a family to support, and we are all living in tiny accommodation in Newhaven that i am too embarrassed to invite people round to because it's embarrasing to be living somewhere so tiny with kids in your middle age, and we are struggling financially.
I looked on rightmove this year and the flat I'd tried to buy was for sale at £330,000. OK the sale fell through but there were plenty of other similar properties for sale at the time for the same price that I could've bought instead of going travelling.
If I'd bought a flat instead of going overseas for 3 years, my lifestyle would be completely and utterly different now. I'd have made £270,000 profit to put towards a mortgage and we'd be living in a nice place now. My early adult choices have affected me right the way through my adulthood and are now impacting on my own children.
The irony is that whilst I was overseas I was having such a blast that I thought the sale of the flat falling through was 'meant to be' because I reasoned that if it had gone ahead I wouldn't have gone traveling.
How wrong I was. Those 3 years have cost me over a quarter of a million pounds and impacted on my kids standard of living.
Regrets? I've had a few.
On 16 Oct 2017 at 5:52pm Pebbledash wrote:
You're an unlucky bugger.
On 16 Oct 2017 at 6:05pm Owner wrote:
This is really interesting because my experience is the opposite. I have a really comfortable standard of living but I so regret not traveling when I was young. Health not good enough now for anything more than organised holidays.
On 16 Oct 2017 at 9:26pm Sold wrote:
It's more common than you think. I know several families my age who have had to sell or chosen to sell and you could say they shouldn't have. Well, perhaps not, but they all had extremely good reason, usually heart over head, and who's to say which should be the victor. What I do know is I've rented a total of two places in 13 years, still in the second, both from lovely family people themselves. Personally I'm happy my money goes not only towards a roof over my head, but also to another real person and their family. You pay a mortgage and of course it makes financial sense, but a small proportion goes towards the loan, the lions share to the faceless behemoth financial institutions that invest in god knows what, who caused the massive bloat in prices in the first place with loose lending, and will turf you out just like a landlord will if you miss your payments. We all end up the same pile of stinking mush and bones, into oblivion with no one beyond a generation or so to remember us. I had an awesome time travelling and living an alternative life for a while and whilst I wish I'd paid off my mortgage or lived with more spare cash, stepping off the sausage machine for several years was a great buzz and one I won't regret when on my deathbed.