Lewes Forum thread

Go on, tell 'em what you think

Lewes Forum New message

Joke of the week

On 8 Jul 2012 at 8:29am Teacher wrote:
Woman turned to her husband and said, George I have just been looking in the mirror and my hairs a mess, my body is going to pot and I look awful. After a few minutes of silence she said , well aren't you going to pay me a compliment to cheer me up. He said ok! Your eye sight is damn good.
On 8 Jul 2012 at 9:14am Mme B wrote:
Could also be told the other way round!
On 8 Jul 2012 at 12:08pm Teacher wrote:
You are right Mme B, it was rather chauvinistic of me. Accept my apologies.
On 9 Jul 2012 at 8:16am FUNNY PIRATE wrote:
I saw a pirate the other day. Only had one leg.
On 9 Jul 2012 at 8:35am Pete wrote:
Why are they called pirates....because they AAAAArrrrrr
On 9 Jul 2012 at 9:31am Micky Macintyre wrote:
This thread should of been named Oldest (and not very funny) joke of the week
On 9 Jul 2012 at 1:17pm Teacher wrote:
Your grammar is quite a good joke Mickey.
On 9 Jul 2012 at 8:10pm Sussex Jim wrote:
An Englishman,Irishman and a Scouser were drinking in a Lewes pub. In the corner sat Jesus, looking a bit sad. The others clubbed together, and bought him a pint. After enjoying his pint, Jesus approached the Englishman, touched his back,and said "thanks for the drink" The Englishman turned, and suddenly felt that his bad back had been cured. "Thanks,Jesus!" he said. Jesus then placed his hand on the Irishman's leg, saying "thanks for the drink" The Irishman went to stand up; and found that his knee problem was gone!
Jesus then approached the Scouser: who said "Keep away from me, I'm on benefit!"
On 9 Jul 2012 at 8:47pm The Super K wrote:
After Andy Murrays speech, my tearful wife turned to me and said...
'Why cant you be more like him?'
I said 'What? Be more sensitive and cry?'
'No' She said.... 'Come Second'
On 9 Jul 2012 at 9:59pm ADT wrote:
From Police Squad:
"Who are you, and how did you get in here?"
"I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith".
On 9 Jul 2012 at 10:08pm The Super K wrote:
A little know fact about England star Danny Welbeck.....
His dad is a bomb disposal expert called Stan.
On 9 Jul 2012 at 11:18pm Milton wrote:
Olympics News: A huge row has broken out within the Irish Synchronised Diving Team after Mick accused Paddy of copying him.
On 9 Jul 2012 at 11:22pm Milton wrote:
Female aliens are kidnapping extremely well endowed men. I realise none of you guys on this forum are in any danger whatsoever, but i thought I would let you know that the inside of this spaceship is awesome.

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Bill Lewes 10:132
Bill Lewes

What will channel 4 news be without him and his colourful ties? more
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Thomas Paine