Lewes Forum thread

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Joke of the week

2
 
On 24 Apr 2012 at 10:18pm Teacher wrote:
My little girl came home from school all excited saying the boys at school keep asking her to do handstands because she is really good at them. I said darling that's an old trick the boys play to see your knickers. Don't worry mummy, I thought that so I take them off beforehand and put them in my satchel.
 
 
On 24 Apr 2012 at 10:21pm Sceptic wrote:
My wife asked me to suprise her and get her something from the body shop, so I bought her an offside wing for her fiesta.
1
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 8:09am Henpecked wrote:
My wife had been missing for a week when a policeman came to my door and said that he had some bad news for me; so I went to the charity shop and got her clothes back.
 
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 8:20am Bullied wrote:
There is a meeting of the Bullying Support Group tonight at 8pm.
You had better ******* be there or else.........
2
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 9:41am middleclassandabitsmug wrote:
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
 
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 12:24pm Cliffebimbo wrote:
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello!
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he says, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my children.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the snooker table with all my mates watching while your partner whipped my bum with wet celery???
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher !
 
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 12:38pm Mr Forks wrote:
David Cameron and George Osborne!
 
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 12:47pm do it doggy wrote:
Whats the difference between driving in the fog and having a 69er ??
When you drive in the fog you cant see the a r se hole in front
 
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 4:57pm Cliffite wrote:
Blimey it's like a working men's club in here
 
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 4:57pm teacher wrote:
He we go scraping the barrel.
 
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 7:52pm Northern Bigot wrote:
What happened to the Avon lady?
Max Factor!
 
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 8:13pm Sussex Jim wrote:
Mr. Forks and Norman Baker
 
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 8:20pm Peter Pan wrote:
Climate change
 
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 9:16pm Rosie cheels wrote:
the new Titanic movie is out.. Shot in 3D, better quality, more detail,sharper and clearer images. Maybe they will see the ....... Iceberg this time.!
 
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 10:15pm Roly Mo wrote:
I have just been sacked from my job with the Samaritans.

A guy phoned in and said "I'm lying on the railway track waiting for the train to come."

I said, "Remain calm and stay on the line."
 
 
On 25 Apr 2012 at 10:30pm expat two wrote:
my cross-eyed brother got sacked from his job as headmaster last week. The Board of Governors said he'd lost control of his pupils.
 
 
On 26 Apr 2012 at 7:03am teacher wrote:
Want some breakfast dear? No thanks I"m not hungry, it must be the Viagra. Little later, want some dinner dear? No thanks i"m not hungry, it must be the Viagra. Evening came. Want some tea dear? No thanks it must be the Viagra. Well get off me I"m starving.
 
 
On 26 Apr 2012 at 8:21am Seaman Staynes wrote:
Welcome to the meeting for help against anxiety, depression and those with no self esteem. To enter, please stand by the tradesman's entrance at rear and wait to be called.
1
 
On 11 May 2012 at 11:30pm Archie wrote:
A certain gentleman linked through to Lewes Cinema!! You got your just deserts! HURRAH for the Council's decision.


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Pells Pond 96:132
Pells Pond

Hello Lewes Forum, I have an enquiry.
Does anyone know of an enclosed field near Lewes where our delightful but errant 10 month... more
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