Lewes Forum thread

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It's the Friday Joke Thread!

On 20 Mar 2009 at 1:32pm Gerkin wrote:
Starting it off gently, not to upset the PC Gestapo - yet!
Q: Why don't blind people bungee jump?
A: Because it scares the hell out of the dogs!
On 20 Mar 2009 at 1:37pm Pickled onion wrote:
Oh Goody!!
Let's test the way you think :-
Did you read 'the pen is in her mouth'?
Nah, me neither.
On 20 Mar 2009 at 1:53pm Red Cabbage wrote:
Is that a new way to test kids for dyslexia?
On 20 Mar 2009 at 2:03pm Robert Burns wrote:

Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing. You already told her twice!
On 20 Mar 2009 at 6:51pm Knock Knock wrote:
Q: What's green and eats winkles?
A: Syphilis.
On 20 Mar 2009 at 7:05pm Janet wrote:
Maybe Robert Burns would like to give his (or her) real name so women and girls in the local area can avoid them. Also it would be useful to match his name to the sex offenders register.
Ha bloody Ha.
Being PC or not has nothing to do with it.
On 20 Mar 2009 at 7:54pm jo wrote:
elizabeth fritzl arrived in court this morning after eating a full cooked breakfast you think someone would have told her she still had daddys sause round her mouth
On 20 Mar 2009 at 8:10pm jos mate wrote:
the woman found by jade goodys bedside with a hammer also had screws nails saw tape messure and wood. she later apologised for turning up two weeks early
On 20 Mar 2009 at 8:16pm northern bigot wrote:
Its the time of the Raj, and the Army officers have noticed the bottles of Sherry are disappearing rapidly. Suspicion immediately falls upon one of the servants Patel. To teach him a lesson a number of bottles of sherry are emptied and the officers take it in turns to relieve themselves in the bottles and return them to the drinks celler. Still the Sherry goes missing! The officers are now worried as to Patels health! So they summon him and ask him if he knows where the Sherry has vanished too? "Do not worry gentlemen" he replies " I have been putting it in the soup!"
On 20 Mar 2009 at 8:47pm Bad taste wrote:
How will the doctors know when Jade Goody is brain dead?
On 20 Mar 2009 at 9:09pm Waddock Hunt wrote:
What's the difference between looking for Big Foot and Jade Goody?
One's a careless hunt...
On 20 Mar 2009 at 9:09pm cato wrote:
That is Bad Taste, Bad Taste.jos mate just as bad.I cannot understand how anyone could find humour in such terrible circumstances!I do have a sense of humour, but not where there is unkindness
On 20 Mar 2009 at 9:13pm cato wrote:
Webmaster Please intervene.Jade Goody not a subject for piss taking.
On 20 Mar 2009 at 9:21pm Not a Jade Goody joke.... wrote:
I've managed to find a way of stopping my wife from sucking her thumb.
I've drawn a picture of my cock on it.
On 20 Mar 2009 at 9:27pm cato wrote:
Now that is funny!Perhaps she"s just not into baby winkles!
On 20 Mar 2009 at 10:47pm Third Degree Burns wrote:
You are completely right Janet. There are other jokes on here that are purile, bad taste, some are even funny, and at least they are jokes. Robert Burns. Get thee to a psychiatrist!
On 21 Mar 2009 at 11:20am Paul Merton Comedy school wrote:
Has anyone heard my impression of an extractor fan?
'I used to love tractors'
On 21 Mar 2009 at 11:34am Speedy Gonzles wrote:
Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second.
"You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc...
They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.
The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding.
Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says,
"What happened? Was the cord too long?" The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a pinata?
On 21 Mar 2009 at 11:40am joker wrote:
What did Saddam Hussein leave in his pants after he was executed?
Scud marks.
On 21 Mar 2009 at 12:06pm Meze wrote:
What's the Greek's favourite board game?
On 21 Mar 2009 at 12:13pm Doctor Dare wrote:
In Pharmacology, all drugs have a generic name. Panadol is Paracetemol, Amoxil is Amoxicillin, Nurofen is Ibuorofen, and so on. The federal drug administration has been looking for a generic name for viagra and announced that its not sure which to choose out of:
and of course
On 21 Mar 2009 at 12:15pm Paul merton wrote:
How come Barbie never gets pregnant?
Ken came in another box.....
On 22 Mar 2009 at 6:56pm aunt fanny wrote:
was it worth opening the tin
On 22 Mar 2009 at 10:13pm Aunt Fanny wrote:
No more Jade or Elizabeth jokes their family have been through enough its unkind and know way to get a laugh and waddock hunt you know what you are unkind
On 22 Mar 2009 at 11:09pm Cary Hunt. wrote:
Brother Waddock sends his apologies.You are quite right Aunt Fanny,his joke was well out of order.Could have been a lot worse though.I thought it was...slightly funny,others I have seen are just plain sick.
I wish you could spell proper like...
On 22 Mar 2009 at 11:18pm Aunt Fanny wrote:
On 23 Mar 2009 at 2:42pm uncle dick wrote:
Aunt fanny do we know each other?
On 23 Mar 2009 at 9:41pm Aunt Fanny wrote:
I have an uncle percy
On 23 Mar 2009 at 10:02pm cato wrote:
Does Percy point it at the porcelein? :| :|
On 23 Mar 2009 at 11:07pm Aunt Fanny wrote:
no we only have an outside loo a hole in the ground we are really poor
On 24 Mar 2009 at 10:10pm uncle dick wrote:
Do hope as you are poor, that you will not be bringing any little fannies into the world!I know how hard it has been with my little dicky!

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