Lewes Forum thread

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Elope to wed

On 23 Sep 2018 at 9:05am Engaged wrote:
My fiance and I want to get married somewhere abroad just the 2 of us and extend the trip for a lovely holiday and that's it. Or maybe register office here first just the 2 of us the day before going on a lovely holiday.
Neither of us can bear the thought of a big wedding and reception, we just don't want to do that. Last night we saw a friend who has recently been to a wedding; he regaled us with tales of the stag do, the hen do, the pre wedding party, the wedding itself, the matching best men and multiple bridesmaids outfits, the huge dress, the reception, the exquisite grounds, the rings, the free bar till midnight.....and the whole thing made me cringe. He was describing my worst nightmare. Yet he was going on and on all evening about what a brilliant time he had.
We have absolutely no desire to do the above. We want to be married, but we don't want a massive wedding. We are quiet people, and just want to get married alone, enjoy a holiday together, then come home as husband & wife and get on with our lives together.
Is this weird?
On 23 Sep 2018 at 11:29am Same Here wrote:
My wife and I did exactly the same thing. We were so horrified by the thought of having to perform in front of 50 or more people, we would have rather not got married at all. It's supposed to be your day, but if you're both dreading the occasion, why do it? Instead, we went off to Bridport of got married there, with a couple of friends as witnesses and had a lovely time. After the honeymoon, we had a smallish dinner to celebrate with close family members, so they didn't feel totally excluded. Our families weren't keen on our plans at first, but they respected our wishes and when they realised how much money they'd saved, they became far more keen on the idea! I've nothing against the idea of a conventional wedding; it's lovely if you're up for it, but like you my wife and I are quiet people. We also don't have a fortune, so we couldn't afford a big do. One of my wife's colleagues is spending £30,000 on her wedding, which just seems crazy. It may be a day to remember, but my wife and I just spent under £500 and had one of the happiest times of our lives. So the short answer is you're not weird (or we're weird too). Anyway, whatever you do, it's your day, nobody else's, so do what's right for you both.
On 23 Sep 2018 at 12:28pm Me Too wrote:
We snuck off to Lewes Register Office, mid week, with just two close friends as witnesses - perfect!
On 23 Sep 2018 at 12:33pm Happy Jack wrote:
Totally agree with you. The whole wedding thing is far too much. I hate being asked to go unless itís close family or close friends.
Expectations for presents, stag doís with strange activities, listening to strangers telling me about their lives and then having to watch them dance is not my ideal of fun. Itís become an industry and we all buy into it.
So do what you want to with whom and where you want to do it. Have a great day.
On 23 Sep 2018 at 1:49pm non consumer wrote:
Sadly weddings like most significant human moments have become commodified. Taken over by big business that then creates competition and expensive must haves. It's all to do with corporate greed exploiting and manipulating the emotions and feelings surrounding what was once a much more modest and innocent affair. Nasty cynical money spinning. We're surrounded by it.
On 27 Sep 2018 at 1:55pm shirleywurly wrote:
Not weird at all. Your plans sound lovely and very genuine. Do arrange witnesses first if you go for the register office option. The registrars don't like people leaving it to chance on the day by grabbing passing pedestrians. And be prepared for people to get narky with you for not doing the day their way instead of yours. I wish a lifetime of health and happiness to you and your intended.

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