Lewes Forum thread

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Artisan Plumber ?

On 1 Feb 2013 at 12:40pm Vivian wrote:
Hello, I need a small plumbing job doing. I don't think it is complicated but am very happy to pay over the odds for someone to make it look so.
Any ideas ?
On 1 Feb 2013 at 2:54pm Sustainable Plumbing wrote:
We believe our company is qualified to do this job. Although it costs a little more, we are careful to source copper pipework only from sustainable supplies of this precious non-renewable earth resource as recommended by the Copper Development Association. Our leading associates (we do not have 'managers' or 'directors') personally visit each copper mine and its environs each year to ensure its treatment of our earth, and of its workers.

Drinking water pipes are, as standard, passed through powerful ferro-cobalt magnets in order to align holistically the water particles with the human body's electromagnetic field for better health. This is exactly the same technology used by NASA astronauts.

Paintwork is always completed with paints made from manufacturers who adhere to our strict standards for non-toxic, non-pollutant ingredients such as Earthborn, Osmo and Treatex. Each paint is personally tested for toxicity by our newest associates. All paint-brushes use horse-hairs which fall naturally from animals never trained for racing, and are never harvested by force.

Associates who carry out practical work cycle to each job, carrying their tools in a small, dark green trailer affixed to the rear of the bicycle. During jobs, they are asked to accept the traditional "builder's tea" from clients only if the tea is from a Fairtrade certified source. In return, we ask for payment according to our independent assessment of the client's ability to pay. Thus, clients who live and work, or who have recently lived and worked, in London bear a small weighting to our fee but many understand our justification for the fairness of this practice.

We are sure you will find our work satisfactory, and we currently have an unusually large number of associates able to work in Lewes. Our head office telephone number is 01632 286486.
On 1 Feb 2013 at 3:47pm Nixon Scraypes wrote:
Oh sustainable plumber can you do bespoke sewage conduit manipulation in a zero carbon environment? If so you're the man to clear up the organic waste proliferating on the forum. A masterful post,sir.
On 1 Feb 2013 at 5:40pm 118 wrote:
Can't get a reply on the phone number supplied ,brilliant post if you had just put a phone number of let's say green peace that would have been cream on the cake well done
On 1 Feb 2013 at 6:29pm Vivian wrote:
This is very exciting !! I wonder whether you also run Artisanal Plumbing Workshops at all ? Obviously I would be prepared to pay exhorbitant amounts to be taught by someone as passionate about water-works as you obviously are.
Do you have a beard though ? Not compulsory of course, but a massive bonus.
On 1 Feb 2013 at 6:32pm Vivian wrote:
Forgot to say that only at home in Lewes on Saturdays and Sunday Mornings. If that helps ?
On 1 Feb 2013 at 7:48pm The Joker wrote:
Artis-anal. Love it !!!!!!
On 1 Feb 2013 at 8:18pm Reliable Plumber wrote:
Normally Viv I would be happy to attend your plumbing needs for my standard 60.00 for the first hour then 45.00 per hour for any additional. But as you're obviously a certain Lewes type, and I've 'seen you coming' I will be more than happy to double this and string the job out for at least three weeks.
Btw, all trades persons in town are 'artisans' since you ask. Though there is one carpenter joker who calls himself 'L'Artisan'. This might be the next trend. Maybe give him a call should you front door need mending (if you can stop laughing long enough to make the call)
On 1 Feb 2013 at 8:24pm Vivian wrote:
Mmmm...L'Artisan eh ? Presumubly one of those OFFs, you know, Over From France. Still if he has half a clou he might be worth a try. He might even have a good source of Croissants. You just can't get decent bread over here can you ?
On 2 Feb 2013 at 8:07am Dfl'er wrote:
Despite your clearly excellent company I still prefer to use the same plumber I have used in Hampstead for the past 10 years.
I find once I have covered his expenses he will fix a leaking tap for a very reasonable £500. He offers excellent service and is normally finished before I have time tools him tea.
On 3 Feb 2013 at 8:57pm How much wrote:
Reliable Plumber how did you come up with that number please tell.

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