On 13 Jul 2010 at 3:14pm Jay Powell wrote:
It's such a shame to think that a small, supposedly 'peaceful' town like Lewes can have so many sick, thoughtless people walking the streets.
I'm talking about a very serious incident that took place a few days ago. To some people, the seriousness of the situation may not register, but for those who understand and empathise, it's much appreciated...
I had my cat, Philip for six years now and every day spent with him as been a great joy (as i'm sure many cat lovers will understand) but on saturday night he simply disappeared, which is very unlike Philip. I informed the local authorities immediately and had a few friends put posters of Philip up around the area. One of the most distinctive features anyone would notice about Philip were his abnormally large paws, but that's partly why I loved him.
After a few days I had given up hope. There was no sign of him anywhere until one evening when I was cooking dinner, I heard a knock at the door. Casually, I went to open it only to find nobody there. I looked down to see what appeared a plaster model of a cat. This was not the case. I recognised those huge paws immediately. It was Philip. I picked up the stiff plaster-covered feline that was once my own and burst into tears. Who would do this? What insentive would anybody have to steal a living creature and quite literally mumify it. Philip now sits on my mantle-piece and it's still nice to feel his presence. If I find these people who did this, or if anyone notices any suspicious behaviour around cats, like Philip, I suggest you confront immediately! Thanks guys!
On 13 Jul 2010 at 3:27pm supporter wrote:
as a soppy cat lover myself i feel for you.
I can't imange the distress this must have caused you but my sympathies go out to you.
Such a cruel thing to do. 
On 13 Jul 2010 at 4:17pm Yioko wrote:
Did you call the police? This is quite a serious offence and it is obviously someone who knows you. Do any of your neighbours bear a grudge against you? Which area of Lewes do you live in? I am a cat lover and I am sorry this has happened
On 13 Jul 2010 at 4:30pm Dali wrote:
Sad story with a rather unusual ending "Phillip now sits on my mantle piece" eh????
On 13 Jul 2010 at 6:01pm jonnyboy wrote:
Philip came round to see me and said he felt like getting..........................................................................plastered. I said "why the large pause?"
On 13 Jul 2010 at 6:13pm footymum wrote:
That is really sick jonnyboy. This forum is getting worse.
On 13 Jul 2010 at 6:25pm Jay Powell wrote:
Yes, the police were informed but unfortunately there's so little they can do. Obviously I'm still shaken up, but none the less, I've been thinking about it alot. Conclusively, I blame my ex-wife, Julia. According to her, Philip was the largest factor that contributed to our divorce. Infact, the only memories I can really recall of our marriage were Julia's constant complaints about Philip. Eventually, after what can only be described as two years of a painful, depressing marriage, Julia broke everything down to one question pending on our marriage. "It's either me or the cat."- And I chose Philip.
On 13 Jul 2010 at 6:27pm not from around here wrote:
Hee Hee
On 13 Jul 2010 at 7:23pm Jay Powell wrote:
It really sickens me that some people 'not from around here' find this funny.
On 13 Jul 2010 at 7:24pm frankiesgirl wrote:
Hmmmmm not quite sure what to make of this one.
On 13 Jul 2010 at 7:56pm Not Gullible wrote:
You must be feline awful...
On 13 Jul 2010 at 8:05pm Jay Powell wrote:
I suppose it is what you call a 'cat'astrophe. But then again, plastering poor Philip was a 'meow'velous idea! You can only laugh these things off...
On 13 Jul 2010 at 8:11pm jrsussex wrote:
The feline is now in a purrfect place but one hopes he remains composed, as opposed to decomposed.
On 13 Jul 2010 at 9:40pm Misery wrote:
I had a cat once, the vet killed it with a needle....mind you it was sick. Few years later he only went and did it to my dog too! I got a slug now, that's ok though. Does make a bit of a mess on the carpet, and my house plants look rubbish now.
On 14 Jul 2010 at 8:07am supporter wrote:
sick remarks on here mentality of some people. 
On 14 Jul 2010 at 8:19am 'ere be monsters wrote:
It's your gullibility, not mentality that is being questioned here. Nice one Jay.
On 14 Jul 2010 at 9:24am Mr N ot Sure wrote:
If this is true can't believe the police or rspca are not doing anything !
On 14 Jul 2010 at 10:06am Dan posing as Down and Out wrote:
One person has written the whole thing again - preposterous
On 14 Jul 2010 at 10:21am jrsussex wrote:
Whether one likes it or not the story does need clarification to be accepted. The wording of the original post by JP is a strange way to describe what happened to the cat, who puts a decomposing cat on their mantlepiece? couple that with the wording on his posting of the 13th blaming his wife and it all seems a little strange to say the least.
I am amazed the police and RSPCA are not on the case and also the story would most definately appeal to the local papers and even. knowing what they are like, some of the red tops and even Meridian TV. Can't believe one of them has failed to pick it up, I imagine local journalists read these type of forums.
On 14 Jul 2010 at 10:38am Down and Out wrote:
Oh, for heaven's sake. Someone's pretending to be me now.
Leave me out of it - I couldn't give a monkey's if every cat in Lewes spontaneously exploded on the stroke of midnight.
On 14 Jul 2010 at 12:23pm TAFKAPS wrote:
Are most people really so gullible that they'd believe a story such as this about mummified cats?! I think the clue is the cat still sitting on the mantle piece, genius! Although such gullibility does explain why the Daily Mail has such a vast 'readership'!
On 14 Jul 2010 at 12:50pm Dumpy wrote:
Classic knee-jerk responses - nice one! 
On 14 Jul 2010 at 1:24pm B. Riese Blockensack wrote:
Must admit that when I read the first post I was waiting for a punchline at the end, although it didn't come. I then thought maybe Jay would keep us guessing and post the punchline later, so I was racking my brains for plays on the words cat, Philip (strange name for a cat), plaster, big paws etc. There has to be a line that would finish off this story, so come on everyone, who can come up with the best one?
Have to say I am not a cat lover, and I am just picturing D&O's idea in his/her previous post! Nice way to round off bonfire night maybe.
On 14 Jul 2010 at 1:39pm Down but not Out wrote:
Odd, same thing happened to my dog.
On 14 Jul 2010 at 3:43pm jrsussex wrote:
Didn't believe it from day 1, wife and I burst into laughter when reading the first post but strange things do happen so I did not have the courage to come right and and say so. However I did forward it to a few friends in London, they thought it very imaginative and funny.
On 14 Jul 2010 at 3:45pm Up and In wrote:
I hope all the cats don't explode at midnight, that's about the only time my stupid one is in the house, would make such a mess. If we could just change that time to midday. Thank you. x
On 14 Jul 2010 at 7:01pm Decent Citizen wrote:
Jay Powell. When I read the first post I was horrified. Then as I read further,I was not so sure. Think the mantlepiece bit did it for me! As the posts continued I felt mean for laughing,as,possibly,just possibly it was true.My fingers hovered over keyboard to offer my sympathy Stranger things have happened.One thing is for sure we are (mostly)kind people on here.Well done. 
On 14 Jul 2010 at 7:06pm Curious. wrote:
Well,I fell for it...And I don't understand the mantelpiece part.
Is it fummy,or a joke,or just very clever?? 
On 14 Jul 2010 at 7:15pm Decent Citizen wrote:
Poor poor Philip he is no more
Someone left him at the door
He sits all day for all to see
He does not even need a pee
Feel so sad for Jay his master
Cos now poor Philip is covered in plaster.
On 14 Jul 2010 at 8:43pm Old Cynic wrote:
DC that was brilliant!!!!!
On 14 Jul 2010 at 8:52pm Clifford wrote:
And people complain that the politics threads are boring! Mind you, that was funny Decent Citizen.
On 14 Jul 2010 at 9:22pm Artful wrote:
DC ? brilliant. Funny and sympathetic.
On 14 Jul 2010 at 11:15pm Decent Citizen wrote:
I aim to please,he! he!
On 15 Jul 2010 at 11:17am Jay Powell wrote:
No sympathy...
On 15 Jul 2010 at 8:03pm MC wrote:
Funny though
On 15 Jul 2010 at 10:05pm What a load of tosh wrote:
JUST WHAT iSAID WHAT A LOAD OF OLD TOSH
On 15 Jul 2010 at 11:11pm Decent Citizen wrote:
What my little ode to Philip, or the whole saga?
On 15 Jul 2010 at 11:11pm Brixtonbelle wrote:
My husband just came home absolutely plastered.
On 16 Jul 2010 at 12:02am Decent Citizen wrote:
Lol Brixtonbelle. Stick him on the mantlepiece,or,outside the door.
On 16 Jul 2010 at 6:57am What a load of tosh wrote:
you seem to write a lot of ods Decent Citizen
On 18 Jul 2010 at 1:48pm Cat Mummier wrote:
It was me all along and you'll never find my secret hiding place in the bush next to the skate park where i take innocent cats and raps them in toilet paper then leave them around lewes. By the time you would have read this i would have struck again and this time it'll be someone who has authority in this town I am of course talking about CORMICK GROGAN! Firstly i shal throw a tv into his back garden and then when he's distracted I shal take his cat and mummify it then leave it on his door step and laugh like this HA. Yours sincerely Temesken Tesco Grrrrrr A.K.A Skagrat, T-Man, Cumstain, or Floydd