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name for a new town west of Lewes - ideas?

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On Tue 9 Mar at 5:45pm Uiop wrote:
There's a new town being planned in Lewes district which will replace East Chiltington - to be developed on land owned by Eton College. So if you're looking down from the South Downs you'll have something more interesting to see than boring fields. This project needs a name which in the best traditions should be done by Lewes people. Any ideas? My rubbish ideas so far are - Etongrad, Concreton, Etonplex. Even worse were East Plumpton, West Cooksbridge and Quidsinbury (homage tp Poundbury - as developers claim that kind of DNA). Any outrageously good suggestions may get nicked and used to mock the developers and their choice of green wishy waffle.
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On Tue 9 Mar at 10:25pm David Stanley wrote:
Great Blighton
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On Wed 10 Mar at 7:51am Formerly AC-T wrote:
Having looked at a summary of the proposals, I'm rather shocked by the scale of it. Three thousand homes must be close to the size of Ringmer.
Given the tiny lanes around that area, I think they should call it Gridlock.

Check it out here »
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On Wed 10 Mar at 9:33am David Stanley wrote:
Eton Mess?
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On Wed 10 Mar at 9:36am David Stanley wrote:
Just occurred to me that Camilla what's er face grew up nearby. I wonder if she could be persuaded to talk to big ears and he could stick his oar in?
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On Wed 10 Mar at 10:41am Tom Pain wrote:
Why can't they build it on the famous Playing Fields of Eton that cultivated such great statesmen as.... um.... Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, our beloved leader?. All that rot about sustainable farming is so much manure. Farms are getting bigger and more reliant on machinery,, no doubt soon to be AI controlled, and artificial fertilisers and pesticides courtesy of big oil.
Rising population? They've been screaming for years about the falling birth rate and the necessity of encouraging immigration. Then of course there's Gates and his billionaire chums telling us the world is overpopulated. The contradictions are insane. Add to this the government's project to "re-wild" a massive proportion of farm land.
So we increase the population and decrease the food production. Increase the "food-miles" to provide it in the name of sustainability!
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On Wed 10 Mar at 11:26am Nevillman wrote:
It does seem a little strange that development is being encouraged on green field sites like this new one and the proposed development by malling as it leaves the numerous brown field sites in Lewes like North Street and the police garage as apparently uneconomic for development. I somehow thought it would be Gates behind it Tom.
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On Wed 10 Mar at 12:37pm Local99 wrote:
Downy McDownface
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On Wed 10 Mar at 1:14pm Basil wrote:
Yes, the name 'North Street Quarter' is free.
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On Wed 10 Mar at 3:27pm Formerly AC-T wrote:
@Nevillman, the clean-up costs of building on brownfield sites only render them uneconomic in the eyes of the developers who are expected to make profits for their shareholders.
If there was a "greenfield development tax", set at a level a bit above the costs of cleaning up an equivalent sized brownfield site, they'd soon make different choices.
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On Thu 11 Mar at 2:57pm IDM wrote:
Etonot Green. But brilliant David Stanley.
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On Sat 13 Mar at 11:59pm Tom Pain wrote:
Covid Asylum, to mark the year everyone accepted insanity. Terrortown where people live in fear of catching a cold. Hivehurst,we worship the queen. Conformitown. Jobsworthy. Vaccinatown . Deceasehaven. Coronaville. Cantbebothered.
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On Sat 20 Mar at 5:21pm Uiop wrote:
Don't blame me for this one - East ChiltingTown
This is something I saw in a press release yesterday from the official residents campaign group.
Talking about Eton's new town scheme it says this:-
"...Don’t Urbanise the Downs – Stop East ChiltingTown’, a new action group set up to fight the scheme, has called the plans ‘Eton Mess.’
As a resident of East Chiltington myself I groaned inwardly when I saw that. Because what I had had in mind when I started this thread on Lewes Forum was to find a suitable name whereby we can mock the Eton new town scheme whenever we refer to it in conversations locally among ourselves. Instead I fear that distorting the very fine old name of "Chiltington" - to "ChiltingTown" will fail to convey to anyone (who doesn't know these parts) the awful magnitude of the consequences.
Thank you all by the way for the contributions to this thread so far. I felt much better for seeing them. And I look forward to reading more.
I'll need a pick up because "ChiltingTown" made me feel quite deflated. Feels like an own goal. I fervently hope that that particular phrase will be quickly and quietly shelved. And perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned it here at all.
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On Sat 20 Mar at 7:16pm Nevillman wrote:
Commuterton.
Rurallerton.
Downsview.
Wealdtown.
Dunfarmin.
No. You're right. East Chilting Town it is.
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On Sat 20 Mar at 11:27pm Tom Pain wrote:
Least Chiltington
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On Sun 28 Mar at 3:51pm Uiop wrote:
The BBC came to East Chiltington to look at the site of the new town. You can see what it looks like in a 2 minute clip on YouTube which came from last night's tv broadcast.

Watch the video »
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On Thu 8 Apr at 9:58pm OscarCroft wrote:
We should call it ‘Tompaindrinkspissandvinegar’
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On Fri 7 May at 2:02pm Uiop wrote:
In May 2021 the developers acting for Eton College (the property owner of the 465 acres of farmland in East Chiltington which is triangulated by Novington Lane, North Barnes Lane and the railway between Plumpton and Cooksbridge launched a web site in which they revealed what they'd like you to call the Eton New Town. It's North Barnes Farm.
In my view the use of the word "Farm" to describe what happens when you plonk 3,000 to 5,000 houses in some fields brings to mind a visit to the "Funny Farm" or the pigs' thinking in George Orwell's book - Animal Farm.
My suggestion is:- Wrong Thing Wrong Place.
I may have said that before. Taking that risk however and in danger of almost repeating myself - here's another suggestion for the name - "No Eton New Town". That's self descriptive and if all of us say it often enough and loudly enough and provided that democracy is alive and well in Lewes - No Eton New Town will be the true name in the end after all.
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On Mon 21 Jun at 11:53am Uiop wrote:
Etonbury - as in STOP ETONBURY. This was artists's idea - not mine (Uiop / aka typist). I saw artist use it in a new planning protest artwork against the Eton new town idea in East Chiltington. The "bury" bit mocks the developers who claim some fame from having done something near Dorchester - which was a very nice town in the 1970s when my wife's family lived there - but which seems to have some add-on bits appended since. - I did have a Quids in bury earlier in this series of posts. But the new picture by artist tells you the whole story.


Check it out here »
 
 
On Fri 25 Jun at 9:47am Uiop wrote:
name for a new town west of Lewes - ideas? - here are some more names as it does appear that recent generous offers (by various land promoters) of fields to be tossed into Lewes's call-for-sites planning cauldron are converging on East Chiltington from various directions... If you've ever tasted a student meal - where they just throw everything in from the jars in the cupboard, or if you've drunk one of those experimental cocktails where you start of with good ingredients but end up with a concoction which has an interesting colour which you don't see being advertised in bottles - then you've got the flavour of it... Here are the new name suggestions.
New Newick,
Eton-cum-Chailey,
Wivelsfield Down.
 
 
On Fri 2 Jul at 12:38pm Uiop wrote:
I've had a complaint from someone in Don't Verbalise the Downs that some of the so called "mocking" names suggested in this consultation series - name for a new town west of Lewes? - are actually too good - and that the deviloper might decide to use them. So I asked myself - if I in that devel's shoes what kind of a name would I pick? It's not just good enough to type a couple of words next to each other and click them off to the internet somewhere. If you're a proper diveloper you have to fill in some forms which say you have scored enough points on the bio-wordsometer scale and have offsetted any grammatical harms to another website far enough away that no one will notice too much if they step into it when getting out of their chauffer driven e-trikes to cut the opening ribbons and break earth in the big dig. So here goes...
Eton Towers
Eton Towers - lying between Old Plumpton and East Carnaged - is part of the Great Brighton area - sharing with that illustrious city (which was only some shacks when Lewes was already well known) a proud heritage of buildings which stand tall and offer impressive views - including the Brighton i360 (built at a snip) and that building next to those cranes in Eastern Road - where they do proper snips and they've been building a helipad to help visitors who can't find any space in the car park. Yes - I can say with confidence that Eton Towers (don't mention John Cleese) will offer sea views and have its own helipad parking for resident Oligarchs who may wish to leave London to escape any FSB hitmen (as the Eton new town isn't on any maps yet) and for the poorer people - without helicopters - we will be providing social housing and a shared kite gliding school - in stage 3 of this urban agriculture project. Remember the name - when it's time to vote in the LDC replan - vote for 1 big site. 300,000 new homes in Novington Lane. Vote - Eton Towers.
 
 
On Mon 19 Jul at 9:49am Uiop wrote:
Re name for a new town being planned in Lewes district which will replace East Chiltington - to be developed on land owned by Eton College?... 4 months later... still looking for that perfect road sign. How about this? £ton. £ton is short and etymologically tells the whole story.


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