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Theresa May Lifesize Cardboard Cutout � 170cm

On 1 May 2017 at 10:29am Orinoco wrote:

Reviews from Amazon UK.
'Claims to be strong and stable but actually very flimsy and without any real substance at all. Also leans over to the right in a really annoying way.'
'Woke up in the middle of the night to this saying 'Strong and stable' over and over, quite like a Dalek. Never had a worse night's sleep!'
We bought this to brighten up our pub The Sarong and Stray Bull. 'Unfortunately it arrived with no legs and no head. According to the dept of work and pensions she is still fit for work'.
Bitterly disappointed by this product.
'It was advertised as being strong and stable all over the box, but sadly turned out to be neither. Its lack of strength was shown when I tried to balance my European shopping bags from the local food bank on its shoulders, and for a complex range of reasons it simply fell apart under this scrutiny. I am however impressed by its ability to answer questions, it does this every bit as effectively as the real thing and is therefore uncannily realistic. Unfortunately, this is the product's sole plus point.
More disturbing still is its stability, or more accurately its effect upon my stability. My mental stability. I shall explain.
When Tess first arrived, I gave her a pet name, I was deeply sceptical about Brexit and its impact upon the nation. Yet on the first night of Tess being propped up in the blue corner of the room, I could hear a tapping. Believing it was the kids from the estate bored due to the closure of the local youth centre due to cuts again, I was at first singularly unconcerned by this turn of events. It was only when this happened at 2am, louder this time, that I began to feel distinct pangs of concern. I walked into the blue corner of the living room to hear the words 'Brexit means Brexit,' and 'strong and stable leadership' as I saw Tess' shoulders juddering up and down in a jerky motion. A cold shiver ran down my spine as I realised that Theresa May's soul may well have entered my beloved Tess. Fear enveloped my very being, thinking that this was even worse than the time Thatcher haunted my Natwest pigs collection and made me put down a deposit on a council house.
It was only in the morning that I realised the true extent of the damage wrought upon my sanity. I realised that, in a trance, I had gone onto Amazon and bought cardboard cutouts of Thatcher, Duncan-Smith, Rees-Mogg, Leadsom and even Michael bloody Gove. It's a week later and I am now surrounded by possessed and quite possibly demonic cardboard cutouts of Conservative politicians, and I daren't eat anything foreign in case the buggers disapprove'

Check it out here »

On 1 May 2017 at 12:18pm Dr wrote:

Bet she doesn't need to cut n paste.