On 11 Mar 2013 at 10:05am Middle aged parent wrote:
Why do teenagers sit in the play park by Malling Community Centre that is for toddlers? When I was a teenager I had no desire to hang around swings and play areas meant for kids much young. The worst thing is the language they use and the litter they leave behind (sometimes broken glass).
They think they are acting cool, but in reality they look like a bunch of deliquent numb nuts...
On 11 Mar 2013 at 11:27am jennyb wrote:
It also happens in the Pells playground when the weather gets warmer. If you're there with your toddler from 3pm, it gets very difficult because of the teenagers. They climb on the climbing frame and look like idiots. Also there's a wall next to the swings where boys (usually) play football with total abandon and the ball could easily hit the kids. Also the ball sometimes goes over the wall into the road and a car could easily be driving by. It's completely ridiculous.
On 11 Mar 2013 at 11:54am Townie wrote:
In total honesty, they're kids !!! It's what they do, they like to "hang out" in places like playgrounds. They don't really have a lot else to do.
whilst it is a bit of an inconvenience and yes, the air is a bit blue and there's some litter, are they really doing that much harm....we were all there once.
I have a 14 year old daughter and i want her to enjoy growing up. I don't want her under a 7pm curfew or something, i want her out with her mates.
However, i like to think she stays out of trouble and let's me know where she is, and when she's home.
On 11 Mar 2013 at 11:59am jennyb wrote:
Maybe there needs to be more places and activities in Lewes which are suited for teenagers.
On 11 Mar 2013 at 12:07pm Disgusted wrote:
There is plenty for teenagers to do if they got off their lazy backsides and tried. Voluntary work, sport, walking, art, reading, gardening, community projects..etc etc etc etc etc etc.
But oh no we must let them be 'kids'. Let them express themselves by drinking and swearing in front of 2, 3 and 4 year olds.
Townie, do you care what your daughter gets up to when she is out. Or is it 'out of sight, out of mind'?
On 11 Mar 2013 at 12:47pm teaboy wrote:
Disgusted - there are plenty of things that teenagers COULD do, but these things are clearly not what they want to do. If it was was, they'd be doing them.
On 11 Mar 2013 at 1:16pm Disgusted wrote:
Yeah it must be soooo much fun hanging out in a kiddies play park for hours, rather than swimming, playing tennis, palying football, learning a hobby, hill walking, scuba diving, rock climbing, ....what was I thinking...
On 11 Mar 2013 at 1:34pm fed up wrote:
We are having the same problem on the malling green Old Malling Way/Bridgewick more especially in the school hols from Easter onwards, late at night into the early hours, previous threat, they are young teens making a hell of a noise and drinking (under age), it does make you wonder about the parents tho, do they not wonder where their teenagers are if not home till 4am ? Its been getting worse each year and when we cant open our windows at night due to the excessive noise then its time something was done to discourage this unreasonable behaviour !
On 11 Mar 2013 at 2:14pm Ex Teenager wrote:
Hanging around in the park!? That's what teenagers do. It's normal. It's when they start smoking crack and stabbing each other you need to worry!
On 11 Mar 2013 at 2:18pm brixtonbelle wrote:
disgusted - i'm sure you were a perfect teenager who never caused anyone any bother and pursued worthwhile and interesting activities that your parents approved of, but you are obviously exceptional and probably president of the world by now.....
however as the mother of two teenagers, it totally depends on the individual child. I have one who is not interested in organised sports or clubs having been put of them pre 10 years old by the continuous pressure and insistence on competition rather than on fun that seems to permeate most of them (and schools) these days. But s/he does however love hanging out with friends, building dens, climbing trees, making fires, swinging on rope swings etc as children that age have done for centuries. Unfortunately this involves being outside in parks and the countryside, where even in nature they are being hideously rule bound. They like high jinks and pushing boundaries. I'm not defending kids who are out till the early hours or drinking, but if it is a persistent problem then I'd suggest 1, talking to them, and 2, if they don't respond, calling the police when it happens and getting them to move the kids on/home.
my other teen enjoys group activities and sports, arts etc, BUT - there is a limit to the amount of classes and clubs s/he can attend - we simply can't afford the fees, the equipment (SCUBA DIVING ???) or the time.
And teenage kids need free time that is unencumbered by organised activities, outside of school and by adults. They have to learn to negotiate the world without adults hovering over them or instructing them constantly, and without supervision or nannying. I'm not suggesting no boundaries or consequences to poor behaviour, but we need to trust our teens and not see them as a threat
re teenagers in playgrounds - I think there is a age 12/14 limit, but most of the teens I know will happily tone it down language wise or move on if asked. I know because i used to do it when my kids were toddlers and encountered teens in the playground when we lived in London. I never once got a mouthy reply back, just a respectful, 'oh sorry'.
On 11 Mar 2013 at 2:29pm surveyor wrote:
I'm a 42 year old dad of two girls and I have encountered teens mucking about in the Pells Pool park a few times. However, I am a belligerent old curmudgeon and at the first hint of swearing I have, on two occasions, asked them to stop swearing if they want to hang out somewhere designed for five years olds. Both times they complied - a bit sniggery, but the swearing stopped, and my kids saw that you need to behave yourself even as a teenager.
I acknowledge that as a bloke it's easier for me, and a mother may be less willing to engage with hairy-arsed teenage boys. My advice is to do what my mother used to do when out with me (I remember it well) and that is ask, but much more loudly and demanding - i.e. make it clear it is simply not worth the time arguing with because you are not going to accept no for an answer.
On 11 Mar 2013 at 2:38pm Fair Play wrote:
At the risk of being lynched, could I put in a plea for an "Adults" park? There is a walled garden in Southover Grange gardens where there is a well-tended parterre and many benches where it was a pleasure to sit on a hot afternoon with a book, listening to the fountain tinkling away.
Some time ago the fountain was turned off, because children were coming into the garden and running through the water spray. I know it was tempting to them, but it is now just one of life's little pleasures that is denied to the rest of us.
The last time I sat there several parents came in, accompanied by under fives. The parents enjoyed a talk with their friends while overseeing their little ones tearing the plants to pieces, and did nothing to stop it.
The children have all the rest of the Grange Gardens to play in, so is it asking too much for just this small space to be reserved as a peaceful place for adults?
On 11 Mar 2013 at 2:49pm Grown Up Teenager wrote:
It's so easy to say 'it's what teenagers do', or to wheel out the old excuse that there is nothing else to do. You forget that we were all teenagers once, and for most of us I'm pretty sure there was even less to do than there is now. We never used to whine about it, and I for one certainly never felt the need to hang around playgrounds drinking and watching little kids play! You can't tar all teenagers with the same brush though. Most of them actually have a life, and are intelligent and mature enough to find other ways to entertain themselves. It is just the minority that can't be bothered and think the world owes them something, and we know what sort of adults they 'grow up' to be don't we!
On 11 Mar 2013 at 3:00pm Grumpy parent wrote:
Excellent point Grown Up Teenager and well put.
Brixton Belle and Townie take note!
On 11 Mar 2013 at 3:04pm brixtonbelle wrote:
Fair play - yes, those under 5's are annoying! I see the council have put up signs asking for the peace and quiet of the walled garden to be respected, and that it is not a play area. (Horrible signs). In future maybe you should ask the parents to control their kids, or take them elsewhere ? A water fountain is just too tempting to that age group on a hot day though - so maybe the authorities could think about installing a play fountain in another area of the Grange ??
On 11 Mar 2013 at 3:23pm Victorian Lover wrote:
BB: Anything goes in your world doesn't it..
On 11 Mar 2013 at 7:12pm Sceptic wrote:
When I was a lad many moons ago I joined the lifeboys and then later on I joined the sea cadets, I would like to know if they still have organisations like that today. The majority of teenagers and adults come to that ( have you ever noticed them coming out of the pubs at night, some of them and I mean the adults can be quite intimidating ). are not all bad. I am certain that when these noisy teenagers get married and have children they also will complain about noisy kids. It's called the circle of life or should I say circus of life.
On 11 Mar 2013 at 7:12pm Sussex Jim wrote:
Parental control is the ultimate answer. It does help if children live with both parents in a stable relationship. But single parents should also be a good role model and check their childrens' behavior. Devote enough time to bring your kids up sensibly and with social responsibilities.
On 11 Mar 2013 at 7:47pm Blip wrote:
You have hit it, SJ. We should spend TIME with our children. Our time and our interest are more precious to them than any amount of toys and gadgets.
On 11 Mar 2013 at 7:53pm Zebedee wrote:
That's fine, but what if your children don't want to spend time with you?
On 11 Mar 2013 at 7:58pm Sceptic wrote:
Sounds good in theory, but how many parents today can find the time to drag themselves away from the telly. It was bad enough when we just had three channels but now there's bl@@dy loads of them.
On 13 Mar 2013 at 9:54am happy wrote:
maybe when bonfire starts most of them teenagers will have tons to do because maybe some of them are in some of them society's and because it is a busy time of the year with tons to do so maybe that will help but untill then maybe they need somewhere else to go ????
On 13 Mar 2013 at 1:42pm Parent wrote:
If you have never spent much time with your kids Zebedee, they are unlikely to want to start when they are teenagers. You need to have established a close relationship, and involve yourself with them from the word go.