On 11 Jan 2016 at 12:03pm FriendsOfLewes wrote:
I've been talking to our new fantastic conservative MP, and we've all reached a conclusion in this little oligarchy of ours, the representatives of the Lewisians have been thinking and we want to demolish Lewes and turn it into an IKEA.
We've spoken to IKEA Policy Officers, (IPO's as they're called in the industry) and we fit the bill for renovation.
Unfortunately this means we all have to leave, but it's OK as IKEA will pay for relocation to Brighton council flats, everyone will also be payed £5000 commission for their land and homes on top of current property value , and continue to receive a distributed percentage of tax free income from the new IKEA store every year alongside complimentary furniture whenever desired, and finally, jobs at the MEGA IKEA will be readily available to anyone desiring employment!
Please comment your thoughts ASAP as we want to know whether to begin the demolition (Starting at Neville) papers, seeking approval for renting vehicles etc, we hope to go ahead with this and turn Lewes into the first STOR-KEA (Mega-Ikea in Swedish) in the country!
All the best,
Friends Of Lewes Group
On 11 Jan 2016 at 12:07pm Kipper wrote:
FINALLY! Someone said it, Lewes has been ready for this kind of renovation for years! As A supporter of UKIP, I really think that this kind of town wide store is a novel and fantastic idea! Especially If we're leaving the EU, new sources of jobs and income will be very welcome.
THIS IS RADICAL THINKING, AND I LOVE IT!
~Open to chatting and discussuion!
On 11 Jan 2016 at 12:09pm Paul Nixon-Moss wrote:
On 11 Jan 2016 at 12:12pm Xxx_NigelSlay4r_xxX wrote:
As a supporter of the Labour party, I unfortunately cannot concur to this rather foolish ideal!!!
On 11 Jan 2016 at 12:48pm Clifford wrote:
An excellent idea. I imagine Lewes District Council will be a co-applicant for planning permission and the South Downs National Park Authority will rubber stamp it. Progress at last. Brown envelopes all round.
On 11 Jan 2016 at 1:20pm Annette Curtin-Twitcher wrote:
Rather than demolish the historic town centre, can't we just put a huge dome over the town? That way unique buildings can be preserved and used as displays for the furniture.
The 15th Century bookshop is surely the natural home for Billy bookcases, Poang chairs would give people a comfy seat to rest on as they climbed up the castle, Anne of Cleves House would look fab filled with Hemnes storage and the Grange would be great for displaying kitchens.
On 11 Jan 2016 at 1:36pm Rory Armes-Deeler wrote:
I find the "fantastic new conservative" ideas a little outré for my taste. What about a return to old fashioned Tory values? God in a bucket! This town was built by responsibly-minded arms dealers like the Newton and Sackville families who made an honest living by selling cannonballs to the Spanish just ahead of the Armada. The Grange, The Lord's Place (33 fireplaces) and a lot of property was made on the back of selling stuff to kill with. What a great lesson! Let's make our town proud of anti-personnel mines and really smart guided missiles. way to go, arf-arf. What I say is: move with the times!!!!
On 11 Jan 2016 at 1:57pm hth wrote:
Keep Lewes, but yes to a big Ikea built on the dump and that strip of land by the A27/Ham lane
On 11 Jan 2016 at 2:16pm Brian Cox wrote:
And that's amazing.
On 11 Jan 2016 at 2:31pm Nick Griffin wrote:
I strongly believe in this great idea, firstly introducing a great schematic for regenerating the flow of income for the South of England. This project, albeit in its hypothetical stages is a worthy concept and almost indefinitely worth the credit and recognition of other political influence.
Good luck in this project placement, I have the utmost certainty that the East Sussex County Council will conclude this development with successful results.
On 11 Jan 2016 at 2:33pm Barack Aboulder wrote:
Yeah sure it just sits there anyway it deserves demolition.
On 11 Jan 2016 at 2:35pm Abrodolf Lincler wrote:
I feel that I should completely wipe out Lewes (and the world) but at the same time save them from the evil megacorporations.
On 11 Jan 2016 at 2:43pm Ben Sanders wrote:
On 11 Jan 2016 at 5:01pm Earl of Lewes wrote:
I welcome this, as I always enjoy IKEA's cheap meals of reindeer balls and ligonberry sauce and once contemplated living in one of their stores as a cheap alterative to renting a flat. We could rename Lewes as something that sounds Scandinavian but is also quite smutty, like the KNOB range of furniture.
I would suggest placing the checkout area in the Railwaylands.
On 11 Jan 2016 at 5:41pm Fruitfly wrote:
Yay, free pencils!
On 11 Jan 2016 at 5:51pm Hey! wrote:
Forget IKEA, old hat!! Go for something truly inspiring and tremendous.......something akin to Las Vagas! Neon lights, sky scrapers, gambling joints (aka Casinos) , instant marriages and instant divorce (on the same day, no less), Elvis impressions, fake sun tans (oh already have that), The Lewes Strip with famous locals' names set in stone, hand prints, golden statues of local bands, huntsman in Chaps riding by, diamond studded effigies of Guy Fawkes , glass shopping malls, and hotels without personality and beyond anyone's pocket. Gatwick 45 min drive and no parking!!! Everyone would be employed......jobs for all. So, maybe Lewes aint so bad after all?!
On 11 Jan 2016 at 7:02pm ali wrote:
@Hey - We're already getting the hotel without personality - it's called the Premier Inn and it's been dumped at the bottom of Friars Walk.
On 11 Jan 2016 at 7:58pm Tipex wrote:
I'm pretty sure the SDNP Authority will fund the demolition. In fact I bet they've got a fleet of bulldozers tucked away for exactly this kind of project.
On 11 Jan 2016 at 9:43pm Please wrote:
Can we demolish Neville then change our mind about Ikea?
On 11 Jan 2016 at 11:46pm Spoons wrote:
Can we just not get a Whetherspoons in there?
On 12 Jan 2016 at 1:41pm Char.. wrote:
A what spoons?
On 12 Jan 2016 at 5:31pm Weather man wrote:
Was it rainman who suggested Whetherspoons?
On 12 Jan 2016 at 5:34pm Bill Shakespier wrote:
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the sling and arrows of outrageous illiterati .............
On 13 Jan 2016 at 9:57pm Loverofspoons wrote:
I like spoons
On 18 Jan 2016 at 4:25pm Whether men wrote:
I don't know whether I like spoons or sunshine