Lewes Forum thread

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On 4 Apr 2008 at 11:50pm ANON wrote:
Does anyone have any idea of when a couple split up what the legal set up is with whats in the house and the share that goes to the male party. I have a good friend who's wife decided the grass was greener on the other side. He was a good provider and a gentleman and she decided to move out and set up with the new boyfriend and her sprog from a previous relationship. She only got a removal van in yesterday to clear out most of the house and left him with next to nothing. His solicitor has informed him that she can do this but i thought different as the divorce has to be sorted and also the sale of the house, she even got a skip delivered whilst he was at work and what she did'nt want she threw in the skip even down to toiletries, curtains etc..... If anyone has gone through something similar or has any info i would be grateful for the info so as to pass it on to him . My husband and i are good friends of this guy and cant believe that a member of the female race could be so cruel and petty.
On 5 Apr 2008 at 12:04am BONYAK wrote:
go to furniture now and replace the furniture. If I was him I would gamble all the money and leave her the tramp nothing. It is so against blokes when splitting up
On 5 Apr 2008 at 12:09am ANON wrote:
I hear what your saying BONYAK and totally agree but it's not in his nature, i wish it was because she deserves everything bad to come her way. What we really need is any information thats legal and above board.
On 5 Apr 2008 at 1:08am Madge wrote:
Dont know the legal deal myself but have you tried asking on Yahoo anwers? If you post it under legal questions you often get legal bods responding, alternatively post question under divorce - Im sure loads will share their experiences.
On 5 Apr 2008 at 1:34am BONYAK wrote:
She is a wrong'on, better off without it, If he is a nice bloke which he sounds like at least he didn't waste anymore time on her. Has she got one leg and used to be a moody porn star?
On 5 Apr 2008 at 9:55am LORD LANPORT wrote:
being no legal whizz here is just my tips..
take as many photos as posssible of the skip its contents and any damage caused pictures of any thing thrown away showing it was still usefull and keep it you never know a judge come the divorce may see she has acted in a really bad way and decide in his favour anything you can do to get information is a good start if he can prove she has been underhand then she will fail.
just remember they will award her something you just need to prove shes a golddigger see a recent case mcCartney v mills
On 5 Apr 2008 at 10:14am Madge wrote:
LORD LANPORT is right about recording everything, photos & keeping a diary of events is always a good thing. If he can give times & dates of incidents it will make his version of events more reliable later on. Its very easy to forget when things occured & hopefully she will not think to record stuff, if she is vague with facts she will come across unreliable. All these seemingly small details do help, if she makes untrue allegations later these records will be a real asset.
On 5 Apr 2008 at 10:39am ANON wrote:
Your right BONYAK, she is another mills case but in some ways much worse and he's definatley well shot of her it's just the pain thats he's going through, it's really sad. Thanks lord landport and madge for the tip on the picture taking, never thought of that, camera will be going today.
On 5 Apr 2008 at 1:39pm Spinster Of This Parish wrote:
What a dreadful situation.
The above advice re records is very sound and good legal advice is essential.
Friendships and support cannot be underestimated - your friends confidence has probably hit rock bottom and further storms are ahead (demands from ex, legal fees, loss of home etc) - look after him.
On 5 Apr 2008 at 2:39pm Mushroom wrote:
An inventory of everything taken would be an idea - you never know the cost of stuff already taken may be subtracted from the divorce settlement. A description and cost/price to replace - don't forget the price of CDs and paperbacks it all adds up very quickly
On 5 Apr 2008 at 2:49pm Madge wrote:
As a friend he will need you to listen, agree & sympathise with his anguish but remember to leave the slagging off to him when you talk to him about it, if he is feeling hurt however much she may deserve your wrath he will not want to hear others ripping into her. Try & nod in the right places & maybe keep your own notes about events for when he needs to colate information laster, he will be feeling such mixed emotions that it will all become a blur. Sounds like he is in for a rough ride & despite your own anger towards her you will need to be rational about things for him, dont let him get embroiled in a tit for tat farse as there is never a winner when that happens. I wish him luck.
On 5 Apr 2008 at 6:33pm Earl of Lewes wrote:
Remember that the legal bods will know nothing about the background to this situation, therefore the more documentation he has - photographic and copies of letters etc - the stronger his case will be. He needs to ensure that he always keeps his cool and if he writes to her (and it's always better to communicate this way because you have a record) to be calm and reasonable.
The trouble with the legal system is that even if a man's in the right, if he loses his rag he'll be seen as the aggressor and people will say 'I'm not surprised she left him.'
On 7 Apr 2008 at 2:35pm dats wrote:
I sympathise, having gone through something similar, recently. I would recommend he go to the Citizen's Advice Bureau to get some legal advice. There's also lots of advice online, not sure I can post links here but if you Google 'armchair advice' there's a lot of info on there, plus a forum if he wants to talk to some people in a similar situation. The CAB website is also useful. Tell him to hang in there, he won't believe he'll get through it, but he will.

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