Lewes Forum thread

Go on, tell 'em what you think

Lewes Forum New message

Only me can win here.

On 6 May 2015 at 2:17am Norman Faker wrote:

Just a quick word before you all go to the poll and vote for me with another landslide. Number one fact for you to remember, if you are tempted to vote for the SNP and who isn`t tempted eh!I certainly am.Nicola Surgeon!Phoaaaar I wouldnt mind a Highland fling with her, remember the SNP cannot win here.Bear in mind too I am a repressed Scot the noo so I am the next best thing Next thing you must bear in mind, if you are thinking of voting Tory, I`ve had a look in my crystal porridge bowl and I see some very bad things.Something called a Bedroom Tax.Can you imagine such a thing!Also the Tories will raise tuition fees and worst of all they will flog off our Royal Mail to their chums for a knock down price.I know that you will find this difficult to believe but I can see it as clear as day.All this will come to pass if you vote Tory.If you vote Labour on the other hand they will almost certainly eat your children and hang anyone with a house worth more than twenty grand and give them to Len Mc Cluskey and his bloodthirsty Union hordes. As for the Greens they will make it compulsory to eat tofu ,they will cover the downs in wild goats, windmills,new age travellers and yurts. They will also ban people from washing their hair more than once evey five years its in their manifesto .So there is the choice, if you don`t vote Liberal Democrat.Grim isn`t it!bear in mind too that we Lib Dems can be the irritable bowel of the Tories and the scrotum of Labour just in case they will forgive us for saying beastly things about them and they want us to carry their bags into Downing Street .I know I can count on your vote.all the best, your dearest Norm.