Lewes Forum thread

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Lewes Forum New message

Looking For Employment

On 27 Oct 2015 at 9:00am Job Seeker wrote:
Dear Lewes
I am looking for a new job and I wonder if you might have any suggestions as to a suitable position.
I have two A Levels both E Grades and I attended a North London Polytechnic for a year before failing to complete my studies.
Since that time I have worked in the Public sector where I have earnt a reputation of being uninterested in responsibility being badly dressed truculent and unable to work as part of a team.
I had no talent for sport
I have no interests
I have no ordinary social life
I have a poor sense of humour
Non drinker
Non smoker
Suffers concentration loss
Age 66

I did not want to apply for a job at all but was pushed into it but for the sake of showing willing do you think I have any chance of interesting a prospective employer ?

PS No interested in anything other than well paid full time work with a full package of benefits
On 27 Oct 2015 at 9:12am sceptic wrote:
Sounds like you would make a good Parking warden. You certainly have all the qualifications. Good luck
On 27 Oct 2015 at 9:51am Geoff Paddle wrote:
Is that you Norman?
On 27 Oct 2015 at 10:52am sceptic wrote:
No! He"s behind you Ha Ha.
On 27 Oct 2015 at 11:11am Job Seeker wrote:
Thankyou for your help, I had better mention that I have been arrested and that I am interested in applying only for positions of high responsibility paying over 100,000 per annum .
On 27 Oct 2015 at 11:19am Metatron wrote:
How about being an MP or work in the Lords for 300 a day?
On 27 Oct 2015 at 11:39am Vlad the inhaler wrote:
Have you reached 100 aliases yet Paul? That was quite good though. I think I read the same Spectator article!
On 27 Oct 2015 at 12:13pm Job Seeker wrote:
I have no idea what you are talking about Vlad the Inhaler, I merely wish to attract prospective employers with my glowing credentials.
In fact I have already been offered a trainee role at a Newhaven whelk stall not to say a recycling operative (part time unpaid ).
(ok good spot .... glad someone did )
On 27 Oct 2015 at 2:14pm Vlad the inhaler wrote:
I think you have to be in your 50's to know what a Polytechnic was!
The contrarian position is that some ideas are so stupid only very highly educated people can possibly believe them.
On 27 Oct 2015 at 7:19pm window cleaner wrote:
Have you thought about window cleaner? They get paid a massive hourly wage and they come and go as they please.
On 27 Oct 2015 at 8:23pm selfish git wrote:
I'd suggest some sort of consultancy work. The LDC are bound to be outsourcing something or other at some time soon
On 27 Oct 2015 at 8:54pm Q wrote:
You do seem extraordinarily popular for someone with no interests and no humour (popular with the ladies too I understand). Perhaps you could play on your popularity and get elected, Prime Minister even. All you need is some whacky ideas for a manifesto.
On 27 Oct 2015 at 11:08pm Mark wrote:
Have a stab at stand-up comedy, Paul. You're always easily identified cause you're just plain weird.
On 28 Oct 2015 at 12:44am Belladonna wrote:
Paul Newman is a sad attention seeker. Unoriginal and boring. Go back to reading the Daily Mail, you odious little man
On 28 Oct 2015 at 9:56am Mark wrote:
Venom stabbed out on a keyboard

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