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Lewes Arms Pantomime

On 3 Mar 2008 at 11:07am OLIVER wrote:
I had the misfortune to be taken to the final dress rehearsal of the Lewes Arms pantomime (Cinderella) last night by a friend. I was shocked! Nearly two hours of non-stop filth - smutty innuendo, dirty jokes and double entendre of an explicit sexual nature. I shall certainly not be taking any of my children to it and would reccomend that others keep their own, well away. Its' certainly not St. Mary's!!
On 3 Mar 2008 at 11:09am MC wrote:
Sounds great... where can I get tickets?
On 3 Mar 2008 at 12:47pm Cliffebimbo wrote:
Oliver, aren't you in it?
On 3 Mar 2008 at 8:11pm Heather Trott wrote:
I have been before, and I agree with Oliver, it is utter filth! Don't get me started on the acting either-I've seen less wood in Wenbans.
On 3 Mar 2008 at 8:25pm FA wrote:
It's a panto done by a pub (by adults, for adults)....FFS what do you expect.
What a bunch of stuck up prudes
On 3 Mar 2008 at 9:01pm The Super K wrote:

I'm guessing this is some shameless clever advertising, OOOOO its So rude!
FA don't bite!
On 3 Mar 2008 at 9:04pm KENDO CASTER wrote:
well said my good man FA, i have been several times and my sides hurt for laughing so much, the more smut the better, you sound like you are not a local as you didnt seem to know what the lewes arms panto is like, Fancy some smut, and a beer soon FA.
On 4 Mar 2008 at 8:38am Giddy Aunt wrote:
I went to the panto last night and although it was very rude, I thought it was awful(ly good)!
I particularly enjoyed Dandini's parts and was wondering if he is exclusive to LADS or if he "does the rounds"? (WOOF WOOF)!
For those interested, tickets are available from behind the bar and are a real bargain at 6.
On 4 Mar 2008 at 1:09pm OLIVER wrote:
I am most certainly not advertising this muck, neither am I a "stuck up prude". I was just trying to warn people not to take their children to see it. It is billed as a pantomime, which is generally considered to be "family entertainment" - This is neither suitable for a family or entertaining! It is X-certificate filth, that panders to the lowest common denominator. If constant references to anal sex & masturbation are your "thing", then you'll love it! Frankly, it left a nasty taste in my mouth.
On 4 Mar 2008 at 1:16pm Double Yellow Line wrote:
On 4 Mar 2008 at 1:26pm FA wrote:
Fantastic Oliver..."it left a nasty taste in your mouth"
On 4 Mar 2008 at 2:06pm Lavinia wrote:
Well I think it sounds absolutely disgusting.
What is the world coming to when a bunch of depraved and disturbed individuals put on a "show" like the one Oliver describes?
No doubt these individuals are unemployed with nothing better to do with their time.........this type of misdemeanor gives credibility to the governments plans to force these benefit-claiming time wasters back to work.
On 4 Mar 2008 at 2:11pm Janet Street Preacher wrote:
What's wrong with anal sex and masturbation?
On 4 Mar 2008 at 2:17pm The Super K wrote:
OK Sorry Oliver,
Give em both Barrels FA.
On 4 Mar 2008 at 2:33pm OLIVER wrote:
There's nothing wrong with anal sex or masturbation per se, the British Navy holds both in high regard, I believe. Both are perfectly acceptable in the privacy of your own home. It's just that you don't expect that sort of thing rammed down your throat in a public place! Whatever next - "Oh! Calcutta" at the Elephant & Castle!
On 4 Mar 2008 at 2:39pm FA wrote:
This is a definate wind up...."rammed down your throat in a public place"...that is clever (you obviously don't go to the right public places then !!!!!!!!)
You are Frankie Howard and i claim my 5...ooooeeer matron
On 4 Mar 2008 at 4:56pm Giddy Aunt wrote:
Shameless advertising or not, the Pantomine at the Lewes Arms is a jolly good romp.
In fact I enjoyed it so much that I might even go again (and get another opportunity to admire Dandini's large parts)!
On 4 Mar 2008 at 5:08pm Buttons wrote:
I bet they are bonfire people as well ... !!! You should complain to the landlord, I am sure he will bend over backwards to accomodate you ! Or if you dont fancy that, maybe you should try the Cock Inn ? It might not be you cup of tea, but nevertheless I hear the leading lady enjoyed a warm hand at her opening !!!
On 4 Mar 2008 at 10:55pm Heather Mills-McCarthorse wrote:
I attended this evenings performance and can honestly say that I've never been so offended.
On 5 Mar 2008 at 2:13am Hydrangea Hardup wrote:
That Dandini fellow is certainly too much to take in all at once.
On 5 Mar 2008 at 12:18pm Cliffebimbo wrote:
Who plays Dandini?
On 5 Mar 2008 at 12:40pm Pikelet wrote:
I hear that it is a chap who wears his hair like a Girlie and STRUTS about quite FEARFULLY. Allegedly, his lunchbox is of a capacity that would satisfy even the largest appetite. But since I cannot bring myself to sit amongst the audience for this questionable production, I suspect that Dandini remains firmly off the menu for moi.
However, on Health & Safety grounds, those more rigourous members of the public who plan to expose themselves to this production might be wise to come equipped with a robust helmet.
On 5 Mar 2008 at 2:26pm Giddy Aunt wrote:
I'm not interested in Dandini's name, just his body!!!
Since seeing his provocative performance, I've been able to cease using my HRT.
He is blessed with a truly exceptional gift - WOOF WOOF!
On 5 Mar 2008 at 2:58pm Widow Twanky wrote:
Well,that's done it for me,and your cunning ploy has worked a treat.I am hot footing it to the Lewes Arms to be amazed and repulsed.And I sincerely hope Dandini and his massive lunchbox will definately end up behind me!
On 5 Mar 2008 at 4:51pm Smiler wrote:
I went to a Lewes Arms pantymime soon after I moved to Lewes 13 years ago and I almost moved back to Brighton.
I thought it wasthe most childish adult entertainment I had ever seen. and there was an incredibly annoying woman behind me who obviously had never been out before who laughed like she owned shares at the slightest innuendo.
I'm no prude but its not for me.
On 5 Mar 2008 at 4:55pm FA wrote:
That's the point smiler...it's not really my thing either but each to their own.
On 7 Mar 2008 at 8:55am Giddy Aunt wrote:
It pays to have friends in the right places as I now have a ticket for Saturdays performance which I believe is the last night.
Is there any chance that the performance can be extended (maybe a different venue)?
Dandini is welcome to extend his performance on a personal level!
On 7 Mar 2008 at 10:00am Squeezer wrote:
If I'd stumbled on this thread before attending the pantomime on Wednesday I'd have been spared a good deal of embarrassment. 'Adult' was a gross inaccuracy only exceeded by the script's assaults on the English language. 'Infantile' is the tem that springs to mind. I thought a pantomime would be a piece of good old-fashioned entertainment, but I was sadly and sorely disappointed.
To add to my embarrassment, the audience that night included an elderly couple whose evening dress indicated that they were probably visiting foreigners out to appreciate some home-grown English culture. I shudder to think what they will have made of it and can only hope and pray that, like me, they did not fully understand most of the terms used.

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