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Higgs bosun found in Newhaven!

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On 13 Dec 2011 at 8:47pm A local news hound. wrote:
A Mr C.Shanty formerly bosun of the merchant ship Higgs and of no fixed abode has finally been found this evening collapsed in an alcoholic stupor on the floor of theThe Harbourside public house in Newhaven.The landlord Hugh Vadenuff said"Well I knew they was lookin` for lookin` for him,I mean it`s been all over the papers and the telly hasn`t it?"When I asked Mr Shanty if he was indeed the elusive Higgs bosun he replied"Eurghhhh.....Whaaaa? Flak Orf you cnut," or something similar and proceeded to vomit violently on my shoes.
 
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On 14 Dec 2011 at 2:57pm Broad Side wrote:
Apparently he was heave hoeing all night.
Inspector Privates of the Sussex Constabulary confirmed that once Mr Shanty has regained his land legs, he will be installed as the figurehead of the good ship Venus.
The Venus is currently impounded in Newhaven after a serious outbreak of frigging in the rigging.
Because there was f**k all else to do, in case you wanted to know.
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On 15 Dec 2011 at 4:41pm Julia Squeezer wrote:
Terrible behaviour. Was he charged, if he tested positive for excess alcohol?
There are also reports of a Higgs Bison being found at Drusillas.
 
 
On 16 Dec 2011 at 1:46pm Mars Resident wrote:
Ah yes, the indigenous Higgs Bison. Best served medium rare I have heard.


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