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Friday joke

 
 
On 24 Jul 2009 at 9:59am jonnyboy wrote:
Mon Dieu
Two French paratroopers were seconded to the SAS for special training.
After the first day they met up in the bar. "Ah, Pierre, " asks one, 'ow 'av you been doing?"
"Merde!" answers Pierre . "I 'av 'ad ze most terrible day. Terrible! At seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg 'airy sergeant. 'E dragged me out of bed and onto ze parade ground."
"And zen what 'appened?" enquired his mate.
"I will tell you what 'appened! 'E made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform five feet off ze ground and zen 'e said "Jurmp!"
"And did you jurmp?" asks his mate.
"I did not. I told 'im - 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp five feet. Eet is beneath my dignity'."
"And zen what 'appened?" asks his mate.
"Zen 'e made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform ten feet off ze ground, and 'e said "Jurmp."
"And did you jurmp?" asks his mate.
"I did not. I told 'im - 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp ten feet. Eet is beneath my dignity'."
"What 'appened zen?" asks his mate.
"Zen 'e made me climb urp zis rickety platform un'undred feet above ze parade ground. 'E undid 'is trousers, took out zis enormous weely, and 'e said 'If you do not jurmp, I am going to steek zis right urp your burm!'"
"Sacre Bleu, mon ami" says his mate. "And did you jurmp?"
"A leetle ...... at ze beginning."
 
 
On 24 Jul 2009 at 9:11pm Northern bigot wrote:
Mother superior to the other nuns at bedtime... "Candles out girls" sssss!!
 
 
On 25 Jul 2009 at 9:57pm Femme Fatale wrote:
Years ago, after the war, I met a French Fighter pilot in club in Paris - his name was Pierre and it was love at first sight.
After a few drinks we went back to my place and I was overwhelmed by his smouldering good looks. I asked him to kiss me and he splashed white wine over my face and passionately kissed me. It was fantastic but when I asked him why the white wine he said "My name is Pierre, French Fighter Pilot, and when I kiss a woman on the lips, I kiss with white wine on mine".
We bacame more passionate, I asked him to kiss me on the breast. He threw a glass of red wine over my bosum and kissed me in the most incredible way. I asked him about why the need for red wine and he replied "My name is Pierre, French Fighter PIlot, and when I kiss a woman on the breast, I kiss with red wine on my lips".
He was incredibly sexy and so I asked him to kiss me down below - he then threw a brandy over my parts, struck a match and set fire to my inferno. I jumped up and, whilst putting out the flames, I screamed at him "WHY?". He replied, "My name is Pierre, French Fighter Pilot, and when I go down, I go down in flames"
 
 
On 25 Jul 2009 at 11:54pm Reap Eat wrote:
Is that 3 times that joke has been on here now or 4?


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Station Street Lewes 111:132
Station Street Lewes

Im sure one of your conspiracy theories will come true, and despite all of them probably being bogus nonsense, that one bullseye... more
QUOTE OF THE MOMENT
I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself.
Oscar Wilde