Lewes Forum thread

Go on, tell 'em what you think


Lewes Forum New message

Am I ugly?

8
8
On 17 Oct 2017 at 11:38am Sue wrote:
I am a 42 year old female and have never been subject to harassment of any kind either at school, or in my working / social life. Not even wolf whistling. I can only conclude that I am not attractive.
6
8
On 17 Oct 2017 at 11:40am If I was 20 year younger wrote:
I'd take you out.
4
9
On 17 Oct 2017 at 11:59am dick wrote:
post a photo
6
16
On 17 Oct 2017 at 12:22pm Pervy Pete wrote:
Naked photos are perfectly acceptable too.
18
10
On 17 Oct 2017 at 12:43pm Pedro wrote:
@ Sue, you must either be oblivious to it, have been extremely fortunate to avoid lecherous men, or dress extremely conservatively, or yea....perhaps you are not physically the type that appeals to the average aforementioned lecherous male type.

Whatever the reason, consider yourself extremely fortunate in that regard. Being "physically attractive" in our society, particularly as a female, has its pitfalls, and men like Harvey Weinstein and Jimmy Savile are waiting at the bottom of them.
7
5
On 17 Oct 2017 at 1:13pm Deja Vu wrote:
Sue, men are funny things there is no such thing as "attractive" what I find attractive another man wouldn't, so I seriously doubt it's related to you being "ugly". I for one love the querky look.
I assume you've had relationships in your life (those people must have found you attractive).

8
3
On 17 Oct 2017 at 1:19pm Sue wrote:
Oh yes, happily married, partied hard but never harrassed.
8
6
On 17 Oct 2017 at 1:29pm Pedro wrote:
@ Sue. Just to be clear....you're not in any way denying the scale of the problem in our society? I'm glad you haven't experienced sexual harassment, but I assume you know people who have, or perhaps you have seen it happening to other women (and men)?

I'm not quite clear on the motive of your thread....is it just a bit of self-deprecating "banter"? Perhaps you can clarify. I hope your intentions are "pure"...
8
5
On 17 Oct 2017 at 1:46pm Veja Du wrote:
I went out with a typist - she was qwerty
5
9
On 17 Oct 2017 at 1:48pm Deja Vu wrote:
Sue, maybe you're thinking about this wrong - is your husband built like a brick outhouse (if so there's your answer)?
Or maybe you're too attractive, men don't bother trying to harass you as you're out of their league.
@Pedro, I won't even bother trying to explain to you why a proportionate amount of attention is a good thing (I don't want a repeat of last weeks pointless posts from you).
4
3
On 17 Oct 2017 at 2:31pm Pedro wrote:
@ deja vu - it depends on the kind of attention one receives. If its crass perving it will get old very quickly for many people.

An occasional passing, polite compliment is not what we are discussing here though, and you know full well that to be the case. We are talking unwanted groping, touching, uncomfortable sexual advances and crass language in public or private. I'll also post what I want, when I want, without someone on the wrong side of arguments attempting to silence me just because they are being called out for their ignorance.
6
6
On 17 Oct 2017 at 2:34pm Sue wrote:
Or maybe I have different threshold of tolerance? What do you call harassment?
4
7
On 17 Oct 2017 at 2:52pm @Pedro wrote:
"unwanted groping, touching, uncomfortable sexual advances and crass language in public or private" only you are discussing this Pedro.
I'm attempting to silence you because as per fricking usual you're setting the world to right after incorrectly assuming you know what is being sad..
I won't even bother trying to explain that you only find out if an advance is "wanted" or "unwanted" when you make the advance, so by your logic every male who has ever made a pass and been rebuffed is a lecherous man?
7
5
On 17 Oct 2017 at 3:26pm Pedro wrote:
@ above, presumably Deja Vu (just use your username, you can clearly indicate within the post who you are speaking to)

The OP used the term "harassment". I don't think my conclusions were beyond what most people were considering, and its a pretty broad spectrum. Just apply some common sense.

No, I don't think every male who's had an unsuccessful "pass" at a women in public is lecherous, but they could be if they were too persistent, or made the woman feel clearly uncomfortable, after politely declining. That is when it breaks into the realm of harassment. Just as, in a completely different scenario, a beggar continually following one specific person around requesting money from them despite saying "no" repeatedly. Both are a bit desperate, and a waste of time, and not fair on the recipient who in no way opened up the line of communications in the first place. Although at least with a beggar its possible to have some sympathy given that they may be hungry and with genuine needs beyond a bit of lust etc.

This is why dating websites/apps have become so popular in recent years. Men have far less reason now to desperately attempt to latch on to women in public places when they are just wanting to go about their day. However, its not to say that if there is a sense of a mutual initial attraction, that it is not always inappropriate. Good judgment, manners and decorum is the key here.
5
7
On 17 Oct 2017 at 3:30pm Polite wrote:
You come across as a know all with little tolerance of other points of view.
2
2
On 17 Oct 2017 at 3:46pm @Pedro wrote:
Sue clearly defines to bar "not even wolf whistling".
It's not hard, read what has been written and reply in kind, there is no good reason for you to start making comparisons to "Harvey Weinstein and Jimmy Savile" when it's a perfectly innocent conversation.
6
5
On 17 Oct 2017 at 3:53pm Pedro wrote:
You really think this thread concocted entirely on a whim and totally "innocent"...and nothing at all to do with the recent allegations against Weinstein and the inescapable media attention surrounding that case, and the way women are treated by society? Seems a bit of a coincidence....
4
8
On 17 Oct 2017 at 3:57pm @Pedro wrote:
Yes Pedro, yet again you know best...
3
3
On 17 Oct 2017 at 4:07pm Deja Vu wrote:
Sue, I used to assume it become harassment when the answer was "no", but advances continued anyway.
But more recently it's become a grey area, for example a wolf whistle can now classed as a hate crime in the UK.
Looking at the reaction your post has had I am not surprised the world has come to this.
4
3
On 17 Oct 2017 at 4:08pm Sue wrote:
Other Sue, only a man would make such a crass statement or a self hating women. Sexual abuse, intimidation and rape has very little to do with how attractive you are, but I agree that you must be ugly inside.
4
6
On 17 Oct 2017 at 4:33pm Sue wrote:
Just to be clear, I am the original Sue.
I admit my original question was a little tongue in cheek, however, as a female, I expect to be chased and wooed. It is all part of the mating game. Why do we want to look attractive? Why do we enjoy a little flirting? Why do we enjoy admiring glances?
2
2
On 17 Oct 2017 at 5:06pm Sue wrote:
On reflection, in my last post, perhaps I should have said "flattered" by a little flirting and "flattered" by admiring glances.
4
4
On 17 Oct 2017 at 5:12pm mr pc wrote:
Your a fat bird then !
3
3
On 17 Oct 2017 at 5:19pm Pedant wrote:
'Sue' is just another one of the regular w*nkers on here hoping he can undermine the latest discussion about harassment. I am surprised anyone sensible has risen to it.
2
1
On 18 Oct 2017 at 8:59am Mystic Greg wrote:
Yes original Sue, a little flirting is the spice of life.
Other Sue, "Sexual abuse, intimidation and rape" no sure where you've got all of this from, I'm not totally convinced original Sue is the one has issues.
3
 
On 18 Oct 2017 at 7:52pm Sussex Jim wrote:
I remember a female english teacher writing on the blackboard "I am beautiful". She then asked the class: "What tense is that?"
One boy replied "Past tense, Miss!".


11 posts left

Your response


You must now log in (or register) to post
Click here to add a link »
Smile
Smile Wink Sad Confused Kiss Favourite Fishing Devil Cool

terms


 

Lewes Bonfire Pope and Cardinals 59:132
Lewes Bonfire Pope and Cardinals

HS2 springs to mind. What a waste of money and environment. more
QUOTE OF THE MOMENT
The Lewes Forum is one of the many great things about Lewes
Nina