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"Alternative" news report from 6th November

On 10 Nov 2011 at 9:04am Numberjack wrote:
60,000 visitors attended Lewes Bonfire Celebrations this year, 59,830 were not injured in any way, yes that's 99.7%. A staggering 99.9%, 59,985 people were not arrested!
A spokesman for Lewes Bonfire Council said, "When you look at these figures, I don't think that even the most ardent bonfire sceptics will have cause for complaint" He went on to say "If you compare Lewes bonfire with other large events such as Glastonbury music festival, which has just over twice the attendance, you will see that the injury rate runs at over 1000 and arrests at over 100, this would suggest that the small numbers injured and arrested at bonfire in Lewes are well below average for such a large scale event"
On 10 Nov 2011 at 9:37am DFL wrote:
170 injuries seems a lot to me !! I went to the Borough Bonfire and thought that the marshalling could be vastly improved as I witnessed at least 2 ladies falling over in the dark becuase an iron bar was not illuminated, and why rookies were thrown at 5 people dressed as priests on a platform I have no idea - a recipe for injuries if ever I saw one !! I wonder if any risk assessments were done and whether any method statements were in place.....I suspect not.
On 10 Nov 2011 at 10:04am Ed Can Do wrote:
You are joking right? Insurance is the biggest single cost any Bonfire Society faces and filling out the risk assessments is pretty much a full time job. The people on the platform know what's going to happen and freely volunteer for the role. They all would have had safety goggles on, there's a wire mesh to stop the rookies hitting them and if Borough are anything like Cliffe then nobody is allowed to use the blue rookies with chunks of clay in them anywhere near the clergy.

Those 170 injuries represent everything that was reported to a paramedic or St John's on the night and as well as a handful of banger injuries they treated a large number of people who had injured themselves simply by being too drunk and at least one person who came to them complaining of toothache. Sadly, the exact nature of the injuries isn't recorded, just the number but talk to anyone who was a serving medic on the night and they'll tell you that the vast majority of incidents were self-inflicted drunken ones from members of the crowd. Also, the term injury when used in this context means anything from a small cut upwards, there were only three serious injuries all night and two of those were drunk idiots falling off a wall.

Brighton NHS trust had 8,375 admissions through A&E in the three months between April and June this year. That's 697 a week across the region and that's admissions, there are no statistics for the number of people who turn up at A&E and are treated and released. Bearing that in mind, I'd say three people needing hospital treatment on a night where 60,000 people, many of them drunk, flooded a town where there were explosives being used in the street and six large firework displays in muddy, badly lit fields is a pretty miraculously low level of injuries.

According to the official statistics, 1,970 people died in the UK in 2010 in traffic related incidents. 5 people a day are getting killed on the roads and people are worried about 167 people suffering minor scrapes and bruises at potentially the most dangerous public event in the country. Beggars belief really.
On 10 Nov 2011 at 11:41am Castle Gate wrote:
Gosh! A sensible discussion at last! Well, I stood by the War Memorial yesterday, saw the wreaths, and read many of the crosses and other tributes placed there. That's what it's about, isn't it? Commemorating those who fought throughout all our yesterdays not only for human rights (whatever their religion) but also the freedom to express a reasonable religion; a freedom that still needs defending today? (And does anyone remember the tv series which ran from 1960 to 1973, "All Our Yesterdays"?)

Check it out here »
On 10 Nov 2011 at 11:52am Dirik Carver wrote:
Can someone translate this bible for me please? I think I'm being watched.
On 10 Nov 2011 at 12:21pm Any old pope wrote:
Very clever Dirik. I don't suppose many people will understand that though. Good old bonfire boyes and girls
On 10 Nov 2011 at 2:52pm The Greek wrote:
If you don't know about the clergy stand then you clearly don't know about bonfire at all... The clergy sign up to do it and wear the appropriate protection! Speaking from a bonfire committee perspective, insurance (after fireworks), is the largest cost to our celebrations. It costs more than everything else put together and is what is driving some smaller bonfires into desperate times and possible winding-up! And if you think no risk assessments are done, then please speak to our Health & Safety Officer, I'm sure he'd tell you otherwise..
On 10 Nov 2011 at 5:09pm Annette Curtin-Twitcher wrote:
When I slipped on the ice and broke my wrist the other year, the radiographer who x-rayed me said that they had done 250 x-rays the previous day, all on people who had fallen.
A bit of icy weather caused far more injuries than Lewes bonfire, but it's still not enough for the councils to grit the pavements, or even to provide grit bins so that residents can do it themselves.
On 10 Nov 2011 at 9:55pm Southover Queen wrote:
Hear hear, ACT! The broken bone count last winter was outrageous. I was one of the few who was lucky enough to have some chains for my boots, but otherwise I would have been unable to move like 3/4 of the population.
On 11 Nov 2011 at 7:47am God bless the Pope wrote:
Chucking fireworks is dumb. Admit it. All the self justification makes you look inadequate. I think the term bonfire boys and girls is amusing though. Not really very apt when i see the cut of your gib. So many fat sad overweight middle aged bigots is quite telling. What boring empty lives you must have
On 11 Nov 2011 at 8:56am bastian wrote:
boring troll alert!
On 11 Nov 2011 at 11:12am brixtonbelle wrote:
Thanks for the stats Ed Can Do. Actually I think there were rather more than 3 serious injuries though. I know of at least two blown up hands (one who has lost a finger), and of course the woman from Seaford BS who has lost an eye.

But I agree - majority of the injuries are pretty minor - cuts and brusises - with no long term/ permanent damage.
On 11 Nov 2011 at 3:55pm bastian wrote:
can I point out that one of the blown up hands was a boy hoist with his own petard,he was about to throw it at an individual in a crowd of people but dithered,not part of bonfire.
On 11 Nov 2011 at 5:51pm bonfire babe wrote:
'If you don't know about the clergy stand then you clearly don't know about bonfire at all'
well thats just the sort of responce most of you come up with. Its like some sort of mason thing. Bet you all jump up and down on one leg and do a funny handshake. I think that is what will be the downfall of bonfire, the total snobbery of it. As soon as anyone even suggests the idea of not throwing fireworks everyone in the bonfire assumes they must be anti bonfire. even though half the time we are all members of one or another.
Well no one has died yet so we wont do anything about this problem unless someone blows themself up with some or some kids are hurt. Trouble is it is always too late. so why not just stop throwing stuff. simple really.
On 11 Nov 2011 at 7:18pm Pornojo wrote:
Yr such a knob bastion
On 12 Nov 2011 at 12:23pm bastian wrote:
help! their's a child on the forum...
and it's nob if you mean genitals...nob end sounds better
On 12 Nov 2011 at 5:05pm Yogi wrote:
Hey thanks bastion, you know yourself better than me dude
On 13 Nov 2011 at 12:55pm bastian wrote:
yogi you are such a trolly Mc troll,so yogi and pornojo are both children,perhaps one and the same?
actually, who gives a damn,
yogi you are so dull I can't be bothered...
On 13 Nov 2011 at 1:27pm Yogi wrote:
Hey bastion a bit more of that famous lewes bigotry coming to the fore....hail hail !
On 14 Nov 2011 at 3:37pm bastian wrote:
ooh shall I rise to that?
no, I can't be bothered

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