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A letter to Theresa May from Nigeria.

On 28 Aug 2018 at 2:54pm Ado Bantama wrote:
Dear and honourable Mrs May I am hearing from your great BBC World Services that you will be investing bazillions of your pound sterlings what your are getting from those thieving and corrupt EU fellows when you are truly exited from the EU, in order to make a lot more money investments for you and your esteemed chums and friends.
In the light of this enlightening and philanthropic gesture what you are seeking to make, may I have the honour of introducing myself to you?
I am Mr. Ado Bantama a former special adviser on petroleum and economic matters to the late Head of State of Federal Republic of Nigeria General Sani Abacha. Because of my strategic position in the former Goverment, and also being a close confidant of the Head of State, I was able to acquire personally, the sum of $45,000,000.00USD (Fourty five Million United States Dollars) presently lodged in Union bank of Nigeria plc.
I made this money largely through "CONSULTANCY FEE" and "Good Faith Fees" paid by foreign oil companies prior to Allocation of Deep Water Oil Blocks and other Lifting/prospecting Right. Nigeria is the 6th largest Producer/Exporter of Crude Petroleum in the World.
As you are probably aware Nigeria is prone to Political/Economic Instability, hyper Inflation, and among other problems, I have therefore resolved to invest my money abroad, preferable in Real Estate Properties and Importation of Goods for safety and optimum returns on Investments.
However, straight transfer of this money into a bank abroad will present two major problems:
1. The tax incidence will be too high, as much as 60% of this money will go up in Taxes, Levies, Penalties etc.
2. As an Ex seviceman in a former military government on which the present democratic government of Chief Olusegun Obasanjo is fighting very hard to freeze the accounts of the men that serve in the government of General Abacha. So as a result of Government deliberate restrictions on flight of capital Abroad.
The solution is to Courier this money in cash abroad, through Courier Service Company here in Nigeria in conjuction with an embassy here in Nigeria, the money will be packed in a Diplomatic Bag or Carton tagged Diplomatic lauggage which will be address to you.
This system is secret and the money is therefore untraceable.
It is the system used by most top Government officials in Nigeria to remove their fortunes to safety abroad.
I have therefore concluded every arrangement with a Courier Company in Nigeria to Courier this money abroad using the courtesy and safety of Diplomatic Bag.
All I now need is a honest partner who can receive the money on my behalf and help me to invest as aforementioned. There is absolutely no risk involved in this transaction as the money will be delivered to you in United States Dollars Bills or your excellent pounds Sterlings.
If you are interested in assisting me, please send to me by email immediately your preferred contact address where this money will be delivered to you, upon delivery, you are to lodge this money in a bank account and contact me for necessary arrangements for the investment.
For your help and assistance in this deal, you will receive 30% of this money in cash, 10% will be set aside to offset all expenses while the remaining 60% is for me.
Finally, you are to please urgently email your personal phone and fax numbers for an easy communication.
You are also required to email your contact address to me, so that I can instruct the Courier Company to despatch the money to you before we go into other necessary details.
Expecting to hear from you.
Best regards,
MR. Ado Bantama.

On 28 Aug 2018 at 3:09pm scorer wrote:
2/10 Must try harder.
On 28 Aug 2018 at 3:28pm Aurora wrote:
9/10 Excellent.
On 28 Aug 2018 at 3:57pm Biafra wrote:
Nice idea, but too long. Someone has too much time on their hands.
On 28 Aug 2018 at 4:36pm Ernie wrote:
More moronic sh!t

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If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
George Orwell